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08-28-05, 11:22 PM | #1 | |||||
Light Weight
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Politicz
IP: 0DB3 4A20
Increasing intensity of something with vast density
Toying with an entity that isn’t real smart of man. Blapshemes and hypocrites aren’t in fair standing in this land. Laying down their mighy hand trying to rule the world While we sit back and watch this monstrosity unfurl Do they not hear the cries of the weak and young? They have souls of a murderer and eyes of ice they will sell each other if they get a right price. But yet they reign supreme like eagles on sunbeams Raising the bar, eating up power, listening to cha ching in a tower. While the rich get richer and the poor get poorer The dumb get dumber and the whore gets whorer. Where do we end? Where do we start? The world needs reform. God is all we got. Each day we wake up in our own little worlds, not really seeing the tragedy that be wilds, Nothing in this world is beautiful anymore, all replaced by technology, slums and polluted shores. The Earth is screaming “mutiny” and we aren’t even using scrutiny because once we’re gone its all we’ve got, save for a little piece of a 6 foot deep plot. But yet they reign supreme like eagles on sunbeams Raising the bar, eating up power, listening to cha ching in a tower. While the rich get richer and the poor get poorer The dumb get dumber and the whore gets whorer. Where do we end? Where do we start? The world needs reform. God is all we got. Try to strive in this land we’ve made, even though it daily fades. With tasteless shows of gays on parade We drink and kill the young each day. What has become of the USA? Great ol’ American flag on display, can we hit rewind and edit the mistakes? Will God wipe us out because we’re too similar to Sodom and Gomorrah, think about it and it might seem a little clearer.
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Sig Provided by: Christianite 3 nails + 1 cross = 4given No matter how good you are there's always someone better. I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be. |
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08-28-05, 11:42 PM | #2 | ||||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: 7BE2 A0A1
vocab..........is nice
was o k |
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08-28-05, 11:46 PM | #3 | ||||
Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
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IP: C81F 1BBC
this was pretty good, flow was good, topic was good, vocab and wordplay were ok, structure was ok, overall pretty good read, keep it up
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i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
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08-29-05, 12:07 AM | #4 | |||||
A Life Of Chryme
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IP: 3240 794D
THIS piece was mad good, i felt ya concept...had good flow......good imagery and emotions.....ya problem still remains.......u need help on ya structure.......ull get it one day 5.5/10......rtf
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A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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08-29-05, 12:23 AM | #5 | |||||
Light Weight
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IP: 0DB3 4A20
lol, thank ya'll 4 the feed, real appreciative, uppin
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Sig Provided by: Christianite 3 nails + 1 cross = 4given No matter how good you are there's always someone better. I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be. |
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08-29-05, 03:51 PM | #7 | ||||
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IP: 0AE0 3B1A
Closed no link....
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The Competition
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08-29-05, 08:26 PM | #8 | |||||
Light Weight
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IP: E97F DFF7
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206443 my link, forgot.
__________________
Sig Provided by: Christianite 3 nails + 1 cross = 4given No matter how good you are there's always someone better. I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be. |
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