Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
01-26-04, 09:58 PM | #1 | |||||||
Flyweight
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1-10 Feed Back Open Mic FA|TAL LyRIKzZ
IP: E530 5D47
I ~SUGGEST~ YOU PUT A ~VEST~ Cuz Like Canibus Ima ~RIP YO CHEST~ You Feelin Soft Like lil Girls ~BREAST~ AmStranglinYou And Kickin U Into The MID~WEST~ Like ~TRAINS~ Am Crashin YO ~VAINS~ And SPATTERIN YO ~BRAINS~ Spittin Faster Then 2 COLLIDIN ~PLANES~ While I Got Ya Up Da ~CHAINS~ My Rhymes ~REMAIN~ Mysterious And Are ~INSANE~ Like U.S.A Vs SADDAM ~HUSSIEN~ Can't ~MAINTAIN~ This Lyrical ~PAIN~ THis Is Just A Lil KeySttyle Thats Bout To Eat ~YOU~ I Got Ya LyriCally SHOCKED!!!Like ~PIKACHU~
Jus A 2nd Post IF u Think Its Good Well Expect More PAYCE~~~~~~~~~~ |
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01-26-04, 10:40 PM | #2 | |||
New to RB
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IP: CC64 0500
its aight but you need to sort out your flow
it would sound alot beta if you had the same syllables in each line but that was overall aight keep elevating |
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01-26-04, 10:50 PM | #3 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: E530 5D47
Aight I Feel YA
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01-26-04, 11:30 PM | #4 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 957F 7690
it was aight, but i think u can do better.
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01-26-04, 11:35 PM | #5 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: E530 5D47
Yea IIght
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01-27-04, 02:26 PM | #6 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 76B1 9A60
Yeah this was alright.....but dont put it in paragraph form like that, put it line on top of line so its structured good and so it helps the flow out in your piece...also lose the ~ things around your rhyming words....but keep at it.
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01-27-04, 02:29 PM | #7 | ||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: 4577 CD9A
I'll give you 1..cause this was horrible...what's with the CAPS~~~
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01-27-04, 06:20 PM | #8 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: E530 5D47
Am Not Tryin To Start ShizZ With You But Thats How I Rhyme Man How Do You Rhyme Man And Im Horrible ?? IIght man
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