Another Piece For Tho's Who Love The Art Of Writing

Just Read... Feel It



I'm worthless, nothing but shell casings and powder
I can see my master in self meditation, pacing for hours
From what I can make of it,
His own bitch was found balntly naked in the pool house with his too friendly neighbor Howard
Consumed in self indulgence it all went, gone in the climax
When she turned and caught my master's stance and just happened to glance at the axe
The words exchanging rapidly, damn, I can't hear him, it's strange
He's too enraged to notice he's talking out loud to air and the Gauge
I guess tonight I got another assignment,
I've lived my lifetimes over, and could never get used to the violence
It's useless to silence if you ain't used to the wildness
He's such a cool dude in the day, the way he shoots you is priceless
Normally he's hired to execute fools, but tonight it's personal
How could she do this to him, she even spawned a little girl
The name's Sophia,
If you ever happen to see her, you'd swear she was heaven sent, most resembles the precious Aaliya
A blessing to see her, but nothing recent is to bother my master
He's etched a name in my back but I can't bother to matter
I can't fathom a ruthless man forced to bring judgment on women
His course is now written, he only needs to lunge, get the Smith N'
Wesson - That's when, to my surprise he raises the gun to his facial features
No Savior can reach ya' when you're faced with nothing but Satan's preachings
It's plain as day to see the name that was placed on me must've been made for Steven, the only name I say with feeling
I hear the click of the hammer releasing, sending me to greet him
His teeth are reaching to slow my ever increasing speed, it's pleading
Rippin' thru his mental tissue I read his thoughts,
He would much rather die than to kill his wife and see the corpse
My master is gone, this was my final destination
Loyal to the end, no longer will a revive for another night of entertainment


Made Matter... Show Love... Don't Sleep...

Caesar - on3

__________________

~Sitting In Elevation Position~


Free
Agent

Just A Sick Newbie

Murked - Lust

Lost - None

I like this for the most part... But my general comment is that you need to pick either the 1st Person or the 3rd Person... not that you can't switch between talking as him and talkin about him...It's just needs to be more clear which is which...

{Peace}

This was pretty good...
I've seen others by you...
and by far this was the worst
not that it sucked but it wus
a little confusing at times,
and sometimes it didnt flow...
You can do way better than
this... and your transitions
werent that good here...
keep it up though...
_-SyaNidal-_

__________________

SyaNidal \v/ Diverse

....Tragic..Death..I....

....Tragic..Death..II....

LOL... thanx dunny.... i'll come harder next time... until then....

UPPIN ... YEP

Caesar - On3

__________________

~Sitting In Elevation Position~


Free
Agent

Just A Sick Newbie

Murked - Lust

Lost - None

This was alright I thought.....I liked it though....structure was ok, confused me at first lol but I caught on.....you had some nice multies in this I thought, I like multies lol....the flow seemed to be good, stayed on.....overall a alright piece...keep at it.

ha... thanx dunny... i'm commin wit way harder ish... just the peak dunny... yep

Caesar - On3

__________________

~Sitting In Elevation Position~


Free
Agent

Just A Sick Newbie

Murked - Lust

Lost - None