I was listening ot beats today and this one beat made me feel like writing...
But this verse is pretty crap cos I whipped it up quick... Anyway, i'm more interested in giving feed than receiving it right now, so drop a link and ill RTF.
.
.
.
The shits started. Leaves fallin, daddy quits office
Mommy drops all her cash on a cheap quarter
cos shed rather take a hit than feed her 6 daughters
Autumn time, borderline spring, no more pickin quartz of thyme
Winters round the corner, i'm walkin past the orange pines
I never thought of rhymes. Didn't think I had that sort of mind,
I thought of lines so I could try to climb past winter.
But the blood was more than mine.
Got up for nothing.
After winter its just another fuckin, 'nother something...
'nother nothing... 'nother druggin..
And then after all that theres still another summer comin
I think about that thought again, realisation, but all it brought was pain
The seasons, they're all the same, some just got sun more than rain
Yeah, it's out shinin. Remindin me I was the kid everyone was outshinin
Broke me without trying, locked me up with words and I got out rhymin
Put the pedal to the metal and ended up in bars at night
I was clumsy for half my life. Had to make my habits right.
And I aint get caught speedin, I mean I crashed my bike
But soon autumn'll pass... And I can chill, sit back and laugh at life

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204117
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204126

__________________

Niceeeeee dawg i like it.I love the concept autumn but also everything u said in it.....Nice worded on all sentances with a real nice flow which would be good as an audio song.Im not so keen on the bit that goes short in the middle i dont understand why u did thatbut its your OM!!!!
I wud like to see this on a audio n keep it up!!!!

8/10

Please could u rtf on my OM in my sig!!!! Thanx

this was nice......even though your structure was bad......it actually flowed really good and your flow seemed original....your wording and vocab was on point......keep it up....i look forward to seeing more from you

__________________

its crazy how u did a open mic about the season kid, i guess that gets creative points there, the flow was decent, the strcture was decent, wasnt to boring cuz i actully read the whole thing but it wasnt one of ya best either....

all around decent drop 7/10

RTF plez....

i really liked the ending.....it was pleasant, amongst the rest of your verse.....didn't like all the wording, but you did say it was whipped up quick, so nothing you can't go back and fix.....and at times it was hard to read without the beat, but whatever....good writing, and keep up....def. good for a quick sketch

rtf on the third one in my sig or this link...

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203336

thanks yo

__________________

Done... everyones got feedback now.

__________________

nice shit brother... i like your style i think your better then when i last looked at your stuff. Dopium's gonna be like so dope man! RTF on Porn Trough some shit i just wipped up today when i was bored after getting inspiration from last night freestyle with Alex at 3am off chops.

__________________