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10-23-05, 05:58 AM | #1 | ||
Ka.Nek.ShuN
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Dear Dad
IP:
Dear Dad, In your hand you’re holding a letter that’s delivering power To finally hold yourself responsible in the last minute of hour For the lives you devoured when we embraced you as a father A husband to the wives you deceived by being a monster What was it that had you bother to take part in my creation Could you not hold it back when you started wall scraping? Can’t you understand that when you chose to drop seed I needed foundation and nutrition of water and proper air to breathe Instead my diet consisted of poisoned water and spoiled soil Toxic oxygen had me boxing in from a family foiled Destined to separate but the final time was too late Took me 10 years to eliminate the fears of my mental rape At the age of 8 we finally escaped your grip No more abuse and hearing it was cuz you were sick But yet I still yearned for a father because I needed you there To give me clean water, fresh foundation and air No need to mention what exactly took place Unless you cant remember how you bruised my body and faith Spread feces on my face, Fly paper on my head Lit a lighter to my toes and hit me while I was in bed Hung me up on a hook to have me shook of ya presence What was it that I did to have you rob me of my essence? I never asked for my birth, I never asked for this curse Yet as a child I yearned to earn your respect and my worth Can you understand the feeling of knowing my childhood is gone? Never treasured or measured by memories like fishing at a pond Instead I was forced to grow soon feeling my joy swoon My eyes that once shined like the sun now resemble the moon Only twinkle in my eye was the hope that you’d die Paying for slaying the innocence of a child who cried I would run and hide yet was found fetal in corner Sweating from fright as if I were all day in a sauna Do you remember when you said I wasn’t fitted to your mold And how you wished I could’ve been a better son to hold A son you could proudly say is yours with pride in ya tone But all you did was call me a joke as if I wasn’t your own I used to cry wishing I never had you as a dad Cry even harder seeing reflections of how you were bad It took till I was 18 to finally stand strong And stop crying over what it was exactly you did wrong I even learned to forgive so I can finally move on Called you my father once more hoping that we could bond But you even messed that up when you tried to fight me As if I wasn’t ya son but an enemy taken lightly Now here I am at 24 and the pain still burns My dreams still yearn for a respect a son deserves to earn But the fact of reality is that you never will change Signed, Your Son (or as you see it "Just another name")
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.::BattleZ::. |
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10-23-05, 09:05 AM | #2 | ||
Cuz I'm Old Skool Baby
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IP:
wow......
i really enjoyed reading this,very emotional, vivid imagery, easy, understandable vocabulary. props on this, my favourite bit was how u ended it, My dreams still yearn for a respect a son deserves to earn But the fact of reality is that you never will change Signed, Your Son (or as you see it "Just another name") but my favourite lines throughout the piece were Unless you cant remember how you bruised my body and faith Spread feces on my face, Fly paper on my head Lit a lighter to my toes and hit me while I was in bed (especially the bolded line) so yeah, well done, keep droppin and RTF plz if u can.
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This is my sig. what? I'm white so u KNOW i can't rap =) I will definitely RTF if u leave a link, thanks! |
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10-23-05, 10:17 AM | #3 | ||
pain is weakness leaving the body
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IP:
nice piece........... good emotion and imagery............ rhyme scheme turned me off a little, bcuz sometimes it seemed like your last words in a line were mostly there just to make it rhyme (like the 'fishin at a pond'......'seeing reflections of how u were bad'.....'robbed me of my essence')........ a lot of metas seemed forced, which wasn't neccesary in a piece like this....... still thiz was a great piece, i'd give it an overall 8.5/10....... keep writing........
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"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..." -Konchance my poetry: untitled |
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