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Old 03-30-05, 07:27 PM   #1
Ma$fit
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FREE Concert (influenced by Kanye West)...writtin by me
IP: 54AA 21AD

[Doe Bagz Concert: intro]
*crowd cheerin*
thank u detroit! thank u!...yall been wonderful tonite...but look...i wanna end dis here wit a track dat i put togetha for all of my fans yall ready?...
*yeah!*...
i said are yall ready?...
*hell yeah!*
...aw man, i luv tha luv...here we go...

*everything stops...i wake up*

[verse 1]
my momma sayin dat i need help, short attention span
spose' clean my room up but im actin like im supaman
used to get A's and B's now its C's and D's
otha kids in school laugh at me and call me a dummy
but i stay clean, look at my jordans and my white tee
neva understood tha possibilities of jobs and money
im used to hangin off momz, spoiled cuz im tha only child
look at my life im like damn was i really dat proud?
dont think so and pops even embedded in my brain
dat its a damn shame how i can sumtimes fo'get my name
and my fame make my life look bigga than games
i got chicks, couldnt believe what happened when she came
i busted in disgust, and ran off in tha rain
then got word how my number was in her phone unda lame
and its all da same, like when u fall its all a joke
but its horrible when u fall off tha reality boat
its crazy...

[hook]
i hear niggaz yellin, hear girlies screamin
they all sayin my name?, homie am i dreamin?
must be cuz all i see is me, trust me
standin in da mirror givin concerts for free
-repeat 2x-

[verse 2]
i say im on anotha level, musta grew a inch
thinkin im rich when i look but i cant buy shit
do you know how it feel to be locked in ya own world
cant leave to take a piss, no food or no girl
its crazy how i dress up when i sleep alone
crazy how i hear buzzin wit no telephone
and i know its sumthin wrong wit singin in da shower
when i cant even freestyle in public, am i a coward?
NO! i cant be, naw not me
not wit a gift like mine for tha whole world to see
thinkin dat i can do betta wit flows dat u see
too bad u wont eva hear them on MTV or BET
and momma still fussin bout tha room, i'll do it soon
right now im focused on tryin to fly on a broom
man i dont know whats wrong, i think i got problems
sumthin drinkin can fix, grey-goose will solve em

[hook]
i hear niggaz yellin, hear girlies screamin
they all sayin my name?, homie am i dreamin?
must be cuz all i see is me, trust me
standin in da mirror givin concerts for free
-repeat 2x-

[verse 3]
now in my head im tha best spittin writtens
and on tha mic im a beast like hot-sause on chitlins
but through dis track im hintin on tha facts
dat proves dat i aint really got it like dat
i can say i stack bread and get mo head than bottles
but i would be lyin unless tonight i hit tha lotto
but i wont and i know i wont so stop dis now
before i say sumthin else stupid like musiq soulchild

[hook]
i hear niggaz yellin, hear girlies screamin
they all sayin my name?, homie am i dreamin?
must be cuz all i see is me, trust me
standin in da mirror givin concerts for free
-repeat 2x-
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Old 03-30-05, 07:30 PM   #2
Ma$fit
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Old 03-30-05, 07:37 PM   #3
::..:$lobK::..:
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Eh..Its Was Aite..Flow Was On Point..Nice Skit..I Know U Had The Good Picture Of It In Your Mind..Lol

I Would Like To Know How Kanye West Inspired U To Write This Man..Lol..Honestly..Umm Nice Story..Is It True Doe?..I Aint Like The Hook Work On Dat..Verses Was Aite..Verse 1 Was Whack Man..Verse 3 Was Ur Best Verse By Far..No Doubt..
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Old 03-30-05, 07:49 PM   #4
Mentor
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yo Slobk or whateva his name is, is rite ur first verse was lil...off but i like ur 2nd verse alot really related to it man believe me u aint the only one that feels that way anywayz ur 3rd verse was kinda short but flowed ok and ur hook was sorta so-so...but overall this was pretty good mayn...6.5/10 keep it up
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Old 03-30-05, 07:50 PM   #5
Murdah.txt
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chea good drop fam was feelin ya fer real tight
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Old 03-30-05, 07:58 PM   #6
Parallel
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hmm i like this, stucture was decent, the flow was good. decent vocabulary nothing really springing out at me but im feeling this OM, the imagery could have been a little bit more better but um it wasnt that bad to be honest. the story was decent. but sense the imagery wasnt quite there the picture and the story kinda fell but its not bad man keep it up
but the hook was really good on this one
1
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Old 03-30-05, 08:00 PM   #7
Ma$fit
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thanx yall...and i know sum might not get tha first verse but its tha most personal one...when i record dis track i'll post it so yall can hear how its spos' to be rapped...uppin

-DB
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Old 03-30-05, 08:32 PM   #8
p4ntzistheish
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this was decent...started off REALLY bad but got better as it continued...nice flow and structure...7/10
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Old 03-30-05, 08:35 PM   #9
Ma$fit
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lmao...crazy how nobody likes tha 1st verse but me...uppin

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Old 03-30-05, 08:58 PM   #10
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word not bad drop, pretty good considering everyone here is an amatuer, not bad, but ya it did start off pretty slow, then it got better, was coo drop, kinda feeling it, flow was on track, If it was a true story that woulda made it better, but ya I think it would be better spit on a track, nice drop tho fam, 7/10
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Old 03-30-05, 11:13 PM   #11
Ma$fit
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thanx man...mos def appreciated fam...uppin

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Old 03-31-05, 12:06 PM   #12
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uppin...

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Old 03-31-05, 07:35 PM   #13
Ma$fit
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///uppin\\\
\\\now///

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Old 04-01-05, 10:03 PM   #14
Ma$fit
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whoa...51 views...damn...where all tha feed at???

-DB
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Old 04-05-05, 11:45 AM   #15
Ma$fit
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and 4 days later....still no mo feedz?...damn

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