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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-10-05, 11:19 PM
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#1
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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Letter to my dog *sighs* What I feel at this moment
IP: 3205 57D1
I dont care bout structure, flow, vocab, or any of that shyt cuz i could do that.. just wrote in acouple minutes of what i feel at this moment for my dog  "Letter To My Dog" I can't stand the feelin of knowin he's sufferin, paralyzed forever Wish rite now i could be huggin him, that would feel so much better.. Too bad that'll happen never, Wonderin what you doin.. Cuz you an animal dont mean i can't luv you as if you're human.. I'm here drownin in my own tears, lossin you's what i fear, I'm alone writting why did that fear had to go appear right here.. I hate it, what i feel i cant explain it, i just wish rite now i could change it.. As if it was a book, n jst turn back acouple pages... So i wouldnt have to see you go away like the way you left.. I completely hate this pain, knowin that you reached your death.. I just lost my breath, let me breathe, its way to hard to believe.. That the dog that i love so much, is gone from the arms of me.. I'm sorry for not bein a good brother, always bein too lazy.. Always walking you late, i just hope that you forgave me.. Your my family, your my brother, even my own baby.. I hope maybe i will see you some day in my dreams. I hope that one day wut i see isnt really wut it seems... That it was jst a horrible nightmare n im just asleep.. Sadely its not, i hate this tragedy i got.. Iono why this happenin to me, please help me God.. Atleast, for this one moment, let him understand me.. So i could tell him, that he was part of this family. I just wish i could speak dog language and I really want to.. So i could say to Inu, My brother, my baby, I really love you.. Dedicated to My Dog Inu.. I'll get the links
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www.FG-Servers.com    Last edited by Dabatos : 08-11-05 at 01:46 AM. |
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08-10-05, 11:21 PM
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#2
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: 3205 57D1
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203733
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203345
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www.FG-Servers.com |
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08-10-05, 11:36 PM
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#3
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GG Haterz
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IP: 1402 E70B
Damn yo.
Deep ish. Good imagery man, pretty original and well overall the emotion is overwhelming. Made me think bout my dog, but I don't care bout my dog as much as you care bout yours. Good piece man.
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For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me  ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
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08-11-05, 12:18 AM
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#4
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 7BE2 A0A1
Deep concept, good imgery fresh rhyme schme very very emotional man nice job.........u really care about ur dog lol huh? iight vocab...everything was intact...rtf no my sig links
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08-11-05, 01:06 AM
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#5
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Middle Weight
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IP: 8A05 210E
damn homie nice ish here very deep good imagery vocab was there keep writing cuz u got alot of potential
rtf on my piece http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=204013
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 Choose words carefully when you address me
You ain't gotta like me, but you're gonna respect me (Or else) or else you get wet like a jigsknee Take ten of these and live, that'll impress me |
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08-11-05, 02:12 AM
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#6
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IP: 2029 97B3
even though this was about a dog. it was probly one of the best open mics i've seen within the last few weeks. pretty good man. and ur flow was still cool even with the very stretched line that u had. good stuff.
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08-11-05, 04:27 AM
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#7
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: 3205 57D1
thanx for the feed.. fam.. i'll give back feed tomorrow wen i wake up.. i jst really aint in the mood to leave feed back rite now.. jst went on to check wut hommies tought of this piece.. shyt my dogs gonna die in acouple days ya..
..
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www.FG-Servers.com |
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08-11-05, 01:39 PM
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#8
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: 3205 57D1
uppin n givin feedback now
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www.FG-Servers.com |
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08-11-05, 03:37 PM
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#9
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The Paragraph President
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IP: 997D A94C
lol dogs mans best friend ay?
lol anyway i was feelin this, nice imagery but you spell to much shit wierd like you rushed this to much, the emotion is very good, vocab could be upped, but i was still feelin this cuz you really have a nice imagery when you write, props to that keep writin man i'd like to see you write more but i feel that you record n wanna do that cuz i do too. lol anyway 1
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08-11-05, 04:42 PM
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#10
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1926
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IP: 3240 794D
Somehow You Made That Topic Not Suck...
I Mean, Its A Dog, Who Write About That Right???... But You Definately Pulled It Off Though... Lots Of Emotion And Imagery... Storyline, At First Word You Would Thing Was Bad... Actually Was Pretty Nice... And You Werent Worried About The Flow, But It Was Fine... Nice Shit Overall... Please Return The Favor On Me And Vango's New Drop... Called "Hallow Tips Pt. 2": http://community.rapverse.com/showt...ghlight=atticus Thanks Alot Mayn, Stay Up... .One. |
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08-11-05, 06:53 PM
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#11
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: 3205 57D1
thanx hommie... up
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www.FG-Servers.com |
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08-11-05, 10:12 PM
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#12
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: 3205 57D1
up up and awaaaaaaaaaaay
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www.FG-Servers.com |
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08-12-05, 04:19 AM
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#13
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Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
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IP: 91CC 50E1
story line was pretty good good imagery it was good
very sad :*( but it was cute lol grown boys making songs for their dogs how sweet
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08-12-05, 11:55 PM
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#14
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: 3A63 EE3E
uppin...............
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www.FG-Servers.com |
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08-13-05, 01:50 PM
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#15
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A Life Of Chryme
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IP: 3240 794D
weird topic lol....but good imagery good fuckin emotion like crazy man...felt it.....good structure nice flow up on vocab a bit nothing to stress about......9/10 keep postin
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