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Old 02-07-04, 02:13 PM   #1
BlackMagik
Banned: Cheating
 
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Posts: 235
From: STL
Lightbulb just a flow please leave feed back!!!

IP:

life full of sin, tradgedies repeated as hearts are broke//
depression is all I've got, my god, its so hard to cope//
alot has happened to me lately, and I feel my life crumbling down//
I tried the best to my ability, but now Im stuck wondering how//
so god, if you can hear me, please send me a response//
the worlds growing colder by the second, and my thoughts is all I got//
my lungs are full of the toxins that we experience in the streets, no shoes on my feet, and I dont think this disease can be beat//
sometimes i feel as if im all alone, with no home//
with no relatives or friends in this, is there no fucking end to this??//
a victim of societys weakness, its got me speechless//
how am i to carry on if it kills me to keep breathin?//
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Old 02-07-04, 02:22 PM   #2
Archival
New to RB
 
Posts: 88
IP:

Leave feed on other people's work if you want feed...
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Old 02-07-04, 02:45 PM   #3
southsideloco
Flyweight
 
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Posts: 145
From: miami florida...the PIMP state
IP:

Damn homie...that was a nice flow..it flowed well n evrything fell into place...u anotha newbie that got skill n potentialm wit jus a lil help u can bacome one o de best in RB..there was no flaw except that u need to lose the// on the end of evry bar cuz thats oldskool n when u start flowin to longa pieces n usin harder vocab u wont be needin the // on evry end o de bar...basically u got skill n i hope to see more in tha future

Peace
__________________
Quote:
"Im the LoCo that will neva stop flowing till i can elevate to a level where i can be satisfied, n always be satisfied"
~SouthSideLoCo~
(the kid that neva gives..up)
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Old 02-07-04, 03:08 PM   #4
BlackMagik
Banned: Cheating
 
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Posts: 235
From: STL
IP:

ayo south thanx for the feed homie ima take your advice with that // shit but thanx for support dawg hit me if u need anything holla
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Old 02-07-04, 03:14 PM   #5
Penskills
Banned: Spamming
 
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Posts: 1,551
From: ``Mahayana
IP:

you actually had a decent flow working..and take ^ advice and get rid of the // remeber this is text not audio..and that's about it..peace...
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Old 02-07-04, 03:30 PM   #6
Archival
New to RB
 
Posts: 88
IP:

Nice. I thought you would come wack, but it was nice. Flow was good. Content was decent. I like the feelings in this. I pretty much agree about the "//" though. Besides that, it was a cool drop. Keep doing wht you do.
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Old 02-07-04, 04:09 PM   #7
BlackMagik
Banned: Cheating
 
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Posts: 235
From: STL
IP:

thanx archival dawg for da support! u got some ill shit i read some of ya flows earlier and they were iller than a motherfucker

aight penskillz thanx homie keep doin what u do cuz u is my idol on this fuckin site keep it up
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