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06-28-03, 03:42 AM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
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baby g's back with sumthin new, the analyzation-
IP: 837C B7F6
Its been a while, i was busy on another site, n i decided to finally come back n see if u were up n workin n u are doin damn well so im gonna start gettin involved here again, this is a poem kind aoutta the ordinary with the prespective it was written in, but here it is, lemme kno what u think
-x-The Analyzation-x- Last resort or first priority? Am I the most important? or am I just there incase It’s not that I want war with them they are just taking you away from I and I am not sure wether I or Them come first and I don’t want to declare war against Them without knowing why knowing why you analyze everything analyze I and analyze Them analyze I to Them and Them to I pronouncing a hopeless war of one I against a many Them alone in my individual arbitrary as I independently confess jealousy of a nothing that arose from Them a jealousy even You, I, and Them couldn’t demolish nor prevent Chaotically ashamed of my meek assumption that They are placed before I or maybe my inference was fact and maybe I too blind from the persuading of You and Them simultaneously was only sheltered and enslaved of my own beliefs to become priority to Them because You perhaps overwhelmed in this power let Them enslave I in torturous circumstances making I the hopeless antagonist suffering from Them and You making I the last resort and Them the Priority |
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06-28-03, 03:55 AM | #2 | |||||||
Light Weight
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Re: baby g's back with sumthin new, the analyzation-
IP: 640C 3FBD
Pretty good. Parts of it were confusing with all those I's and Them's though, hehe. Towards the ending I got kinda lost with what was happening. I dunno, I'm a dumbass so maybe that's why. But I liked reading it. How you analyzed what was going on was cool.
Quote:
My favorite part out of the whole thing. You made it plain and simple what the writing was about in those lines. Post more stuff up.. |
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06-28-03, 09:39 AM | #3 | |||||||
Sharp Perfection.
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IP: 399E F0FD
hey girl glad you decided to come back this was okay liked the way you thought things out i also find that first part to be the best part but then it slowly loses its effect but all and all it was a good post keep elevating
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
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06-29-03, 09:09 PM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: 837C B7F6
thanks, yeah this was one of those poems where you start out with sumthin good but u tryn get everythin n there n it just falls apart but it was all i could come up with n i was excited to cum bac soo ..uppin
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07-03-03, 10:16 AM | #5 | ||||||
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IP: 4F2B 4EA2
Nice concept...
...though i felt at times it collapsed into carnage...overall i got the jist of it...though i don't think i actually got what YOU as the poet was writing about... ...but yeah, i liked what you tried to do with this piece, it's hard to do...i've done it a couple of times...most go totally wrong...but there's always that one that flows perfect...and comes off well.. ..for me, this one was in between...which was kind of weird.. ..resp... |
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07-04-03, 01:12 AM | #6 | |||||||
EVERYBODY HATES ME
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IP: 071B C042
that was cool wats again
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07-05-03, 01:33 AM | #7 | ||||||
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IP: 837C B7F6
thanks varentao
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03-16-04, 11:30 PM | #8 | ||||
New to RB
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IP: 25BF 927D
yo baby g - what's been happenin? i was a member of the original rap battles site - but i got a new id now. mad propz - i'm likein' your style. check out my latest post - subject matter is an outside look into what's around everyday but most ignore - and it's not from personal experience.
anywayz check it and let me know what you think..........by the way u still live in newie? |
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03-23-04, 10:57 PM | #9 | ||||
....Trunks R 4 Bodies....
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IP: C1DA C961
yo that was a hot poem!
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