It's here, her fragile tears built
The shallow lake that lays
In the cob webs of my front lawn.
It was the black sun's lust
that stripped our waiting pool dry;
Our salts formed this tainted beach.

This land laid the design for agony,
As we spit shards of glass,
It was the elephants who bore the brunt.
Now the purple urchins parade
Wearing November's ivory hats;
While their spectators watch on edge.

The lies have been stacked, and,
As the fires rage our beautiful ashtray
Grew higher than the home we gave it.
I shoveled it out time and time again,
But what left the window found the door.
But I built us this sand castle
from seaglass aged in Jack's throat.

The seasons come and pass,
But I never left that porch rocking chair.
The sage has become what is, and I,
As the beach still falls from your eyes.

lok I didn't get all of this but it flowed it didn't rhyme well but you got your point across solid
even though i didn't get all of this loved this first part for some reason

It's here, her fragile tears built
The shallow lake that lays
In the cob webs of my front lawn.
It was the black sun's lust
that stripped our waiting pool dry;
Our salts formed this tainted beach.

But I built us this sand castle
from seaglass aged in Jack's throat.
Told you on AIM that I loved those lines


Good poem Atty.. Loved both the 1st and 3rd verses.

__________________
i'm bored.

^^ word up..... \i liked this alot....def. a good one, you know wass up...keep gettin them confused!!

__________________
I Beat Up Asshole Fathers For Free

My Space

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indeph Lyricalsolja you illy on the sickness tip.

sad, but inspirin.... I reallie felt the emotion behind this one.... Atticus ur a genius. Can't even try to hate, much luv, keep those coming, tru poet

__________________
Lyrical Rapsody

Oh man... My old CT fam, haven't seen you around Rv in forever.

excuse me son i wish you had some comon sense th eworkk you do is straight up wrong boy

and this site should have many more people posting than what it has look son you running a white collar never been to ghetto unwanted crap on the net period give kpeople their freedom to post and stop being communistic no room in society for your kind son

Other writers Pm'ed and asked me to remove your work you dumbass. You're not even writing anything contradictory to "White Collar" concept, you just jumble random shit together so that it flows without ever purposing a meaning worth second thought. If you want to write about the ghetto, go for it... Just make sure it's actually a poem, and that its not random bull shit slapped together for the sake of a flow that never needs even needs to be when writing a poem.

look everybody don't believe in that politicall correct crap and right now my verse is got many thinking like i do maan you can't be reading my rhymes if you say that you just dreaming some stuff that's false son i write reality only no dreams

this went well its flowed decent and creaticity i like how u kept us confused at times till we read on.............

nice shit homie! i likes it.

__________________

yeah a lot of people confused about reality and fucking dreams WTF

this piece was good i like it homes...nice concept and WRITING VOCAB!!............nice multies and vision imagery!.

i like it when you confuse me for a while!

__________________