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Old 01-16-04, 07:15 PM   #1
Maven
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Fear Of Commitment

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I rip myself to shreds because infinity is short
when jumping on the bed was an olympic sport
to keep clean or distort? I was only being honest
exhaling contorts; rethinking what was promised
beyond this; somewhere between handcuffs and tights
underneath the heavy breathing at night with dim lights
hands stay cold, like your smile, kisses become dry
unlike the eyes full of sadness, making the heavens cry
weather won't back up the feeling that is empty in my soul
cause tears and fears will keep ears from hearing the goal
stuck together in a hole that is only a half note
stuck beside my role, just a simple laugh. Don't
mistake it for uncaring...thats not where my heart lies
all of the wearing and tearing is staring in my eyes
while commotion fights emotions; devoting is questioned
I will not use the lotion cause I haven't learned my lesson
how I have yearned for sessions, where we could be alone
and I wasn't even nervous as I hung up the telephone
you didn't ever deserve this; I had invaded your home
taunting lovingly but you won't throw a dog a bone
my feelings all over the walls, but woe covers the floor
as much as I detest it...I don't love you anymore

(I wrote this while I was in the mindstate that I didn't love my girlfriend....I figured out that it was only my fear of a serious relationship)

Peace
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Old 01-16-04, 07:26 PM   #2
LA4Lyfe
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i thought it was a hot piece very universal
good multiez
7.5/10
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Old 01-16-04, 09:32 PM   #3
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yea this was a nice decent Piece man i think it was a good write..ya structure was good and ya had really nice Flow Man Real Nice ya Had a nice use of it...ya vocab was was really good and ya had very well used multis in there...keep it droping man...PeacE...
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Old 01-17-04, 01:09 AM   #4
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thank you...I wasn't really focusing on the technical aspects in this piece, but hey, at least ya noticed em
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Old 01-17-04, 10:46 AM   #5
Viscosity
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this was avery nice piece..
The flow was great
The structure was like wooah
the concept, and overall read was fantastic..
After reading this, im going to look for some more of your reads.
Dope piece..

I was wondering, would you like to do a collabo with me?
P.M if intrested.. could be me you and deacon, if you wish.
again. Dope piece
pz
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Old 01-17-04, 12:45 PM   #6
Penskills
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..I'll keep it simple.."ILL"..what more????
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Old 01-18-04, 02:37 PM   #7
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superman
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