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01-24-06, 11:48 PM | #1 | |||||
Light Weight
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Space As I Know It
IP: 06F7 4DBF
They say aspiring astronauts are admiral souls
Advocating life’s questions by amending a role They’re consoled by a zephyr’s breeze… eased By a better tether chaining Earth to human beings Space is perceived as “The infinite extension of the three- Dimensional region… in which all matter exists” But to me it seems to be an end to a means Where bliss escapes me and explores my needs I employ these themes, different as contrasted, but Sometimes I wonder… “Does space go on forever? Or do we just make it such?” I had a hunch, go in search, find truth and live life But as infinite was defined by… “Unlimited in spatial extent” …………………………………My insight died… I knew I’d never know the answers until life passed Or else I’d be chasing something that didn’t exist. ..................... Have you ever heard the tale of a child so weary To ask out a girl that he loved so dearly? He’d write “sincerely, anonymous” to sign his post It was monotonous; clearly a girl can’t see a ghost So she stopped looking, and the boy lost all hope And the story goes; it’s the same for every timid boy But how is timid defined? If you say “Lacking self-confidence” You’re out of your mind. See, being timid is simply being shy, Some would say that clouds sometimes hide the sky… So we see eye to eye. Because there are stars out there just as shy as our great sun And another life form is likely taking to every one… So one day when I become my own shooting star I’ll talk to a wise and aged poet… I know it’s not fact. It’s just space as I know it. Black Queen - Look Out Wicked One - Remember Me
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Was he robbed of the ashphalt that cushioned his face? Last edited by I Am Unreal. : 01-25-06 at 12:02 AM. |
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01-25-06, 12:10 AM | #2 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: 2029 97B3
nice drop homie i like how u stayed on topic all the way through welcome 2 rv but here's sum advice u gotta post ur links...2 in like normal replies or bonecollector or drake will close ur thread so jus a heads up so ya shit aint closed....rtf on my new shit titled new shit and mortal kombat
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my new shit peep |
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01-25-06, 08:03 AM | #3 | |||||
Black Poet
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IP: 2041 AFC0
Sup this was really dope, I can relate coz as I kid I always wanted to go in
space,.. and your always left thinking where dose space end !! and where does it begin!! It use to well bug me. Nice complexity,. good structure, flowed really well, good use of vocab this was a really nice verse... The close gave it the extra kick it had real meaning and a very good read. Stay up 1~ |
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01-25-06, 04:08 PM | #4 | ||||
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IP: 31C2 62EB
Damn this was a really tight drop i was feeling the emotions and very good feelings..your structure was on point you had very good imagery and i was really feeling it nice job...keep it up
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The Competition
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01-25-06, 10:27 PM | #5 | |||||
Light Weight
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IP: E7EE 3CAA
Thanks for the feedback, leave some links.
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Was he robbed of the ashphalt that cushioned his face? |
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01-26-06, 05:58 PM | #6 | |||||
in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
yeah, this was deep....structure, i wasn't feeling it at some points, mainly because it was hard to read, a little, but meh, still very insightful and deep, really liked the second half, it was very well thoughtout on a vague, original topic, good job mate, props to ya
But how is timid defined? If you say “Lacking self-confidence” You’re out of your mind. See, being timid is simply being shy, Some would say that clouds sometimes hide the sky… i liked those ones, good show, we should colllabo sometime, if you wanted, word, keep up
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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01-29-06, 12:04 AM | #7 | |||||
Light Weight
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IP: A2B3 0A44
Anyone wanna collab pm me.............
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Was he robbed of the ashphalt that cushioned his face? |
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02-03-06, 03:18 PM | #8 | |||||
Light Weight
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IP: 7FEF 2A0D
looking for abit more feedback.......................................
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Was he robbed of the ashphalt that cushioned his face? |
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02-03-06, 08:38 PM | #9 | ||||||
New to RV
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IP: E7D5 F9B5
this is deep stuff man, you really into space huh lol, but the structure looked abit wonky, so i duno how u say ur lines, fast, or slow, eh
still you got a nice flow to it, over all i'd give u a 6/10
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im the ILLEST |
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02-04-06, 04:33 PM | #10 | |||||
New to RV
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IP: 97A1 1E68
This is crazy... the concept alone makes me want to finish it off Keep it Coming.
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Crews Well Cum VOTE ON THIS I'LL RETURN DA FAVOR ON YOUR BATTLE: Against AItz: http://community.rapverse.com/showbattlethread.php?t=221492 Elevatin Constantly |
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02-10-06, 04:36 PM | #11 | |||||
Light Weight
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IP: 3884 90CC
yo, respek.....
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Was he robbed of the ashphalt that cushioned his face? |
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