Musty is the smell that blocks my nose,
The smell of the damp, and years of neglect,
And fresh air long since drifted through the glazed over windows,
And yet, i have no feelings of regret.
Though the food is stale and always cold, and the toilets filled with shit,
Though the screws are hard and get you down, its tough, i must admit,
But if it wasn't for Her Magesty's Service, where in the world would i be?
I'm glad that i comitted crime, I'm glad that i'm not free!
When the doors are locked and bolted, I can safely go to sleep,
And it may not be a luxury, but its better than the streets!
God Bless the judge who sent me down, to him i owe my life,
Cause if it wasn't for the food and warmth, God forbid i'd be here tonight,
Its not all bad on these narrow landings where i've chose to roam,
After all for the first time in my life, i've found a place to call a home.
And though the smell is musty,
It hasnt an effect,
But i killed my Dad and thats the reason,
I am still plagued with regret.


moral: ~ its about a girl thrown out on the streets as a child and left to fend for herself, when she becomes an adult after a troubled young life she goes back to kill the bastard who left her to die and finds herself convicted of murder and sent down, she is now happy to have a roof over her head as she has never felt part of a family, and now she is surrounded with people she can relate with and finds she has a better life here than on the streets. (a bit farfetched i know, but i just had the poem in my head)

tell me what you think, i'd love some feedback on this one pleez, if its not to much trouble! thanQ.


~ Please REPLY ~

Nice,
I liked it very much the whole poem drew me in,
i liked the imagery, and the concept was nice,
You are a rising talent,
Props.

iight

shit that was nice, short simple and yet still had a big effect on me. it was a good drop. it had a good flow, and even better imagery in it. its one of the few drops that i can say ive read that i find isnt about the same old over used topics

you showing us some good shit

~Tera~
DONT HATE

__________________

very nice. Flowed very well. Good word Play. Drawed me in till the end. My props to you. peace

Thanx y'all, everyone has been so supportive towards my poems, luv y'all and respect yo! Thanx for the feed evry1, i hope i can do the same for all y'all sumtime.

keep postin

xx
xxx

im feeling it, pay back is a bitch, plus she got a new life, one she can relate to, i like. keep doing it up.

i really liked the piece it does suck you in but im not really feeling the "moral" shit thats kinda cheating ur supposed to fully describe the "moral" in the poem itself, but props nonetheless, 1luv.

lol i suppose but sometimes, i think somethings i write are to personal for people to understand...its about things that happen to me. and so i have to explain yeah? But i do see where you coming from.

keep uppin this

this piece had a nice flow, sometimes you find the closest of kin in the worst situation. sounds like you got a lot of rage inside. like you either write from the heart or from the imagination, either way, don't stop. keep droppin.