Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
10-19-03, 08:27 PM | #1 | |||||||
Aint Nobody Iller Than Me
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"Kyle"
IP: 7BBC 5E47
"Kyle"
[VERSE 1] This is about a boy named Kyle who wasn't cool Never had a girlfriend and sucked at school He was below average height and refused to fight So he was an easy target to the bullies delight He wore big glasses and was the top in all his classes But his peers made more fun for ever course he passes He was used as a source for hurtful words to deposit He'd spend his whole noon hour in the janitor's closet The pain he must of endured is hard just to imagine Kyle wasn't happy and never put on a grin What a life to tryin' live at such a young age But he kept his feelin's inside along with his rage [CHORUS] Life can be cruel, when you're all alone No one on your side, you're on your own Just stay strong, and stand your ground Don't give up on life, happiness is abound {VERSE 2] The atmosphere at home was quite much the same Parents would abuse him daily and call him every name One meal a day was all he'd be given to eat The weekends he spend with grandma he considered to be a treat And when grandma would ask what had caused his bruise He'd say his laces were undone and he tripped over his shoes Kyle was too scared to up and tell the truth 'Bout how his mom had hit him and knocked out his tooth Or how his dad would squeeze him till he was out of breath Just a few more seconds would have resulted in death Everynight before goin' to sleep he'd say a little prayer For to be released from that house and put in foster care [CHORUS] Life can be cruel, when you're all alone No one on your side, you're on your own Just stay strong, and stand your ground Don't give up on life, happiness is abound [VERSE 3] Now Kyle was fed up and decided he had enough Became depressed and would get made over small stuff He made his way down the hall and into his parent's room Knocked everything off the dresser, anger had consumed He got down on the floor and reached under the bed "Whats goin' on up there" is what his mother said His hand stumbled acrossed somethin' small and cold It was his dad's pistol that his hands now hold Now Kyle's dad was careless and left the gun loaded So when Kyle pulled the trigger a shot exploaded His parents ran up stairs to see what was the commotion And discovered Kyle on the floor, no movement or no motion [CHORUS] Life can be cruel, when you're all alone No one on your side, you're on your own Just stay strong, and stand your ground Don't give up on life, happiness is abound |
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10-19-03, 08:30 PM | #2 | |||||||
Banned 4 biting
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
Dope work on vocab and metas
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10-19-03, 09:20 PM | #3 | |||||||
Aint Nobody Iller Than Me
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IP: 7BBC 5E47
UPPIN!
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10-19-03, 10:21 PM | #4 | ||||||||
Aint Nobody Iller Than Me
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IP: 7BBC 5E47
Quote:
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10-20-03, 12:06 PM | #5 | |||||||
Aint Nobody Iller Than Me
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IP: 4678 90A9
Quit sleepin' y'all!
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10-20-03, 04:08 PM | #6 | ||||||||
Aint Nobody Iller Than Me
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IP: 7BBC 5E47
Quote:
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10-20-03, 04:21 PM | #7 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 96FF 1751
ill, good story, structure was tight, voocab was aiight, topic was tight, nice imagery, all in all i thought this piece was ill,keep droppin tha hotness.~1~
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10-20-03, 05:12 PM | #8 | ||||||
BANNED
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IP: 6DF4 616B
i didntt like this actually, storyline was there but it was really basic, transition needs a lot of work, a lot of your rhymiung was basic 1 and 2 syllable rhyming, the internals didnt work with this, structure was decent, but you worded the lines pretty poorly, and that seemed to throw the imagery off as i read it, lost my attention on a couple of occasions, thats down to bad writers voice, you didnt do the topic justice to be fair, i take it your new to topicxal / story telling pieces so i wont be too harsh on you
elevate. |
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10-20-03, 05:35 PM | #9 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 50BD 5385
all i got ta say is that's pretty damn good! ya had the whole story thing goin and it made sense. only thing wrong with it is (i thought) it was too short... i wanna see more of it!!! keep up the good work!
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10-20-03, 06:49 PM | #10 | ||||||||
Aint Nobody Iller Than Me
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IP: C4AB 9642
Quote:
This song wasn't meant to be filled with 5 syllable words and all that. I just wanted to keep it basic and get my point acrossed. Ya feel me? |
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10-20-03, 10:55 PM | #11 | |||||||
Aint Nobody Iller Than Me
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IP: C4AB 9642
UPPIN 4 MO' FEEDBACK!
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10-21-03, 11:29 AM | #12 | ||||||||
Aint Nobody Iller Than Me
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IP: 4678 90A9
Quote:
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10-21-03, 11:42 AM | #13 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 01A3 7C2E
Topic was good... I liked this story... shit, honestly,
I went through the same shit when I was a kid... so this topic definately hit hard... mad props... I dunno if this was the feed you were looking for but I was touched by this story... and I actually grabbed my step dads .45 and pulled the trigger but the damned thing wasnt loaded... its prolly a good thing though... Im glad your wrote this shit... it was well explained, good content, you could have worded your lines a lil better but your point came accross clear as glass.... MAD PROPS!!!!!!!!! can ya check my thread.... its a collab by me and word~perfect. http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=86862 ~Ashy~ |
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10-21-03, 05:03 PM | #14 | |||||||
Aint Nobody Iller Than Me
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IP: 020A 4147
Thanks a lot dogg
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10-22-03, 12:07 AM | #15 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 3340 B04F
aiyo... I just thought I'd tell ya that I'm nominating this shit
for the Top Ten Open Mics for October... madd props again dawg. ~Ashy~ |
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