I replied to: Word~Perfect - Ego Trip, Pillboy - Just a piece...., Deva - Setting Goals.


...Sittin in my room with emotions, My brother's in jail...
...Got 8 years for somethin he should have known had smelled...
...I'm not even in tha mood to talk, This is your time to bail...
...Cause if I get any more angered, This world'll feel hell...
...Punchin my wall, Holes tha sizes of faces, I'm goin crazy...
...But the only thing I can say is I'm what my momma made me...
...My own fam retreat, Give me room to let off steam...
...It's only been three years and nightmares still haunt my dreams...
...Tellin me to kill, Murder any person...
...I've never had thoughts like that, I discuss things first then...
...Things compress into more beef, I replenish tha streets...
...Remove an old head and replace it with more rookies...
...Visited mah blood today, Tears struck to tha pupils...
...No more could I hold, We've held each other's back since pupils...
...When it was time to leave, We walked to tha gates...
...We embraced with brother love that couldn't be broken by jakes...
...For a few minutes, They watched us like hawks, Knowing tha situation...
...I don't care who's lookin, They can catch a rude awakenin...
...I left tha jail with a killer look, Bout to snap on any who look...
...Got guards shook, Handin my Id with hands that shook...
...Riding home, 2 hours of grief, I came back to tha crib...
...His baby's birthday was yesterday, From both of us, Gave a kiss...

...Pauses, Loading clips into his guns...

...Now I'm back on tha scene, Need to clean up my act...
...No more sellin, I don't wanna end up behind racks...
...Still be that gully niqqa you know, But I changed a little...
...I'm stayin low for a few, At least till my bro out tha kettle...
...Still hold my game down, No one's deminishin my fame...
...Still disgrace kats, Still feed em raw spits to tha brain...
...Load them clips up, Who speakin about my brother?...
...I won't chase you, I'm a just murder your mother...
...Cause next year, I'm toast tha world, A new era...
...Shoot licks to tha air, For my family and brotha...
...And if any of you feel tha emotions I feel, Holla peeps...
...Cause yall tha only real niqqas, Tha rest will sleep...
...They only out to give out diseases, Like sluts they contagious...
...But, I see right through yall, Yall will see why I'm dangerous...




Audio being posted as we type...

Wow, Can I get some feedback...

The verse was good ...I felt as if u were talking about
someone else in the beginning and then about yourself in the
middle and then back again .other than that it was good..
keep working on it.

__________________

MerK SquAd.

<center><img src=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=8889&stc=1></center>

My brother...

vocab needs uppin flows wusnt on key but it wus ight umm doesnt deliver like it shood cood of made it more complex to umm multis needs werk sum more improvement on yur meta to so there u have it

Dope shit here...
Kept a consistant flow throughout the whole piece..
Rhyming was there...
Very nice drop..Deep...


Syn

Good lookin...

Up'...

Yeah i agree this was a pretty good piece here....it flowed pretty well through out it i thought, maybe was a bit off at points but still good though....trying adding some more multies and internals for the flow and structure wise....but overall it was a good piece....keep at it....and keep dropping.