Yo dis da first spit i put on here...


Im on my chill but im runnin da strip
Da Thump in da Clip,
bouta dump a ton in ya hip,
ready to run in ya crib,
have my whole squad run in ya crib,
gun ta ya head,
blow ya brains on da front of ya kids,
and if you rilly want it you dead,
wit one in ya face,
if you see me and my head down,
im one-way paciin,
thinkin of lettin catchin L's like a subway station,
body dis nigga,
and leave em on da run-way achin,

somebody hit me up and tell if das kool...

Damn can i get some type of feedback

i liked it.. very lloyd banks-ish.... need work on structure and less gangsta.. good shit though for your first freestyle on here, return the favor on "Encore" its in my sig.

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yea....i cant say its bad for a first timer....work on your stucture....its horrible...it wasnt very witty...pretty basic shit...i could write it in about 5 min maximum...multis where honestly the only thing you had going for you...if it wasnt for them...this would have been completely wack...work on your vocab, structure, better multis, wittier punches and just overall a more witty verse...youll be straight

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yeah not bad, cant say it doesnt need some work...like the other guys said, structure needs alot of work, flow was aight, could be better, but it was your first (freestyle) so of course it aint goin to be perfect....yeah, so work on your structure, and upp your vocab and wordplay....expand that vocabulary and it will make your works alot more worth reading....word....keep up yo

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