Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
11-12-05, 05:28 PM | #1 | ||||
Fuck White Folks
|
Invisible Children
IP: 7D92 C12B
Invisible Child Born & raised in a neighborhood of slums & poverty... I obviously, grew toward the roots of drugs & robbery. No love, no harmony. My whole world was at this awkward rhythm. Kids learned life was uncontrollable & I was gullible with em. My brother was hard, he protected me when we slept under the stars. With cement as a mattress, Id wake up covered in scars. In winter wed slumber in cars, one as the others pillow. I remember we used to write poetry on the foggy windows. On weekdays I hustled the block, both hands on my grind. I promised myself Id make a fortune, even one gram at'a time. Im proud of whats succeeded. My pride, I cuddle. Marijuana doubles my happiness & divides my struggle. During my quietest nights, I started to question the purpose of life. The streets were cold & books only gave me worthless advice. My citizen’s rights, must have got stuck in the birth canal. & It hurts some how, knowing if my folks was rich Id be perfect now. I was thinking bigger now, there must be millions like me. Years back Bush promised to help, but thats still not likely. I grew older & wiser. Even passed the GED. Got a job & apartment & bought my first color TV. Yet still in this phase, found its hard to pay bills underage. I was the typical full time student, living off of minimum wage. But its not a secret, working at McDonald’s didn’t cop the bucks. While we hosted the monopoly game, I stole stickers off the cups. Someone told my boss what’s up, I was lucky he didn’t press charges. Slept on an empty stomach, but at least there was less garbage. I was only weeks away from becoming a legal adult. Held a gun to her head, & said I was there to steal the vault. Now in prison for a while, thinking life is just a criminal’s mile. Wondering if Id end up this way, if I wasn’t born an invisible child. * Lookin for A Collab, PM me. |
||||
11-12-05, 05:35 PM | #2 | ||||
Fuck White Folks
|
IP: 7D92 C12B
|
||||
11-16-05, 11:51 AM | #3 | ||||
Fuck White Folks
|
IP: CED5 5EB6
uppin, for any feedback...errm up.
|
||||
11-16-05, 03:56 PM | #4 | |||||
New to RV
|
IP: B15A D835
Wass gwon fam?...This piece right here, well for being new to this site this is probably the hottest drop Ive seen so far.. Born & raised in a neighborhood of slums & poverty... I obviously, grew toward the roots of drugs & robbery. ^^^^^Nice opener to start it off, some grimey New York type lifestyle right here No love, no harmony. My whole world was at this awkward rhythm. Kids learned life was uncontrollable & I was gullible with em. My brother was hard, he protected me when we slept under the stars. With cement as a mattress, Id wake up covered in scars. ^^^^nice wording with the awkward rhythm line. Cpvered in scars line was nice In winter wed slumber in cars, one as the others pillow. I remember we used to write poetry on the foggy windows. On weekdays I hustled the block, both hands on my grind. I promised myself Id make a fortune, even one gram at'a time. Im proud of whats succeeded. My pride, I cuddle. Marijuana doubles my happiness & divides my struggle. ^^^^^^Write poetry in windows line, thats fuckin dope and real talk right there. one gram at a time line was real.. divides my struggle line was dope During my quietest nights, I started to question the purpose of life. The streets were cold & books only gave me worthless advice. My citizen’s rights, must have got stuck in the birth canal. & It hurts some how, knowing if my folks was rich Id be perfect now. ^^^^nice wording with the books line.. birth canal and perfect now didnt really rhyme except if u pronounced it right but it was good though.. I was thinking bigger now, there must be millions like me. Years back Bush promised to help, but thats still not likely. I grew older & wiser. Even passed the GED. Got a job & apartment & bought my first color TV. ^^^^^True twoards the bush line..nice on the come up line about the appartment and tv shit.. Yet still in this phase, found its hard to pay bills underage. I was the typical full time student, living off of minimum wage. But its not a secret, working at McDonald’s didn’t cop the bucks. While we hosted the monopoly game, I stole stickers off the cups. ^^^^^Real talk about the minimum wage thing. Lol at the stickers off the cup line Someone told my boss what’s up, I was lucky he didn’t press charges. Slept on an empty stomach, but at least there was less garbage. I was only weeks away from becoming a legal adult. Held a gun to her head, & said I was there to steal the vault. ^^^^Less garbage line was nice.. adult and vault didnt rhyme unless its pronounced right Now in prison for a while, thinking life is just a criminal’s mile. Wondering if Id end up this way, if I wasn’t born an invisible child. ^^^^^Nice finisher duke... weakness- The words were a little two small, kinda had to read over some lines to make sure i read suttin right but thats the only problem..Basically u need to up on size of fonts and das it. Other then that, this piece was hot famz keep doin u HoLLa |
|||||
11-16-05, 04:29 PM | #5 | ||||
Fuck White Folks
|
IP: CED5 5EB6
I appreciate the feedback. Thanks for the word. Stay up.
|
||||
11-21-05, 07:45 PM | #6 | ||||
Fuck White Folks
|
IP: E8B2 0FD5
uppin for more feedback...up.
|
||||
11-21-05, 10:08 PM | #7 | |||
Just searching.
|
IP: DB41 DC69
Good...and shit. I'll leave better feed later, pretty good.q
|
|||
11-26-05, 01:06 PM | #8 | ||||
Fuck White Folks
|
IP: CED5 5EB6
uppin....lookin for more feedback. uh huh.
|
||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|