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01-01-05, 03:25 PM | #1 | |||||
The Epitome Of Greatness
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Flow Intelligent Vs. KKKHater
IP: 3240 794D
Rules:
Battles Go Up Friday Check In Due Sunday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Verses Due Tuesday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time Voting Ends Thursday By 11:59 PM Eastern Time 20 Lines Minimum 40 Lines Maximum No Biting No Recycling Do Not Go Over The Line Limit Or Under The Line Limit Meaning No Less Than 20 Lines No More Than 40 Lines You Must Vote On 3 Battles Per Week And Edit Them Into Your Check-In.. If You Dont Do So, Youre Banned From The Tourney The Following Week Topic: Insomnia
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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion |
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01-02-05, 10:12 AM | #2 | ||||
Knock out kings fur life
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IP: EE9E 78E3
heres my chekin in peace.
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01-02-05, 12:45 PM | #3 | |||||
The Epitome Of Greatness
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IP: 0825 899A
^^ What He Said... Good Luck
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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion |
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01-02-05, 12:55 PM | #4 | ||||
Knock out kings fur life
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IP: EE9E 78E3
You To Mate Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah!
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01-03-05, 07:39 AM | #5 | ||||
Knock out kings fur life
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IP: EE9E 78E3
oK i CHANGED my name this is my new one
intro I lie in this couch tossing and turning as I hear the sirens and the midnight sounds of the city, As I hear the screams and shouts of the neighbor in the night I know that he is hitting his wife once again Bitty, But now I lie on this couch no meds to take for my deseases for I can not sleep, So I am still awake in this society and in this world of this deep thought. verse The couch is hard and cold with no rest for any blankets or pillows or neither a med can put me to sleep. I hear the midnight screams and shouts of the people below as some screams hit me deep in my thoughts. I was only twelve when I got this insomnia, so now I stay awake watching the news over osama. This cold and broken apartment is no help for this cold weather as I attempt to shutter my eyes, For I hear everything in this room even the fighting of the neighbors witch I hear their fist flies. This diseases keeps me up in the late hours of the nights, like a fight that is going in my mind like two raging dogs witch I can not stop their fights. I sleep half the day away and some call me the night walker, I know that this disease can kill me off for the Dr.s say I am not getting any sleep, But what do they know only thing they are good for is putting me in dept deep on my knees. As I lie on the couch liflessly trying to daze myself asleep I feel pain all around my body, as I know that one of these days or hour this disease will take its toll upon me, But now all I can do is listen to the city night life as my spirit and my thoughts try to flee me. As my mind tries to dround out the midnight sounds I know that it will not stay gone long, for this is like a bong and my body as grown to the addiction for this disease that the docs call insomnia. |
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01-03-05, 11:43 PM | #6 | ||||
Knock out kings fur life
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IP: EE9E 78E3
heres my first link http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1870709
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01-04-05, 03:53 PM | #7 | ||||
Knock out kings fur life
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IP: 07D4 5143
number two!!!!!!!!!!!!!! http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1871716
From now on just edit your links into one post this is taking up space - F.I Last edited by FlOw InTeLLiGeNt : 01-04-05 at 10:09 PM. |
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01-04-05, 10:23 PM | #8 | |||||
The Epitome Of Greatness
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IP: 3240 794D
Aiight...
What is sleep? Its just a figment of imagination to me So i find myself reading, eating, and pacing to sleep Nothing ever works, Im caught im a downward spiral Im obsessed with insomnia, like im obsessed with pyro Because i burn the chanches of myself getting any rest So i try all the new methods, And put them to the test Even with supplements, im wide awake in this zone Sitting extremely idle on my bed for hours like a clone Trying to think of sheep, or anything else that will help Because with all my cries, rested bones are still not felt I sit and moan, piss and groan, and it always seems endless Because im awake longer than the periods in this sentance............................... So i turn on the TV, and see vivid but blurred pictures And cant follow the plot, so i begin to write scriptures The verses keep my mind tired, writers block is the key Because if it's sleep i want, Then words is what i need Words that are descriptive, but words that are small Words that can make you fall asleep for no reason at all So i write forever until i can see dew glisten on the grass And still have not slept within all the hours that have passed Its morning and yet im wide awake, refreshed and alert I feel fine for now but my body will soon feel the hurt 12 hours pass, and im in bed, with the same situation And realize im the same we live in a insomniac nation
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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion |
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01-05-05, 04:03 PM | #9 | ||||
Knock out kings fur life
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IP: 07D4 5143
and my number three link!
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post1874018 |
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01-05-05, 05:11 PM | #10 | ||||
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IP: D5FE 7245
hmm...my vote goes to flow but this was kind of weak flow ive seen a lot better lol...no hate
beginning/end-tie, i thought 50hater had a more descriptive and grabbing intro but flows ending was better... vocab-flow, basically had a better vocab even though this aspect felt weak also...the words used helped bring out the imagery more imagery-flow,^the words helped do that and i could see what was happening more...this was close though cuz 50hater had a lot of description but most of it felt uneeded...he could of changed a lot of words that could of saved his flow and still bring out the imagery so some of the things 50hater said wasnt really needed it kind of overlapped and brought the imagery down more emotion-flow, thought the story was good and once again the words drew the reader in more and could understand more of what the person was going through... flow-flow, 50haters lines were very stretched and offcourse...because of a lot of uneeded words to try and describe things it messed up his flow and the verse seemed more like poetry...there was a half a line and then a full line or a line and a half sometimes and its harder for the reader to comprehend it so it felt kinda like a free poetry layout like saying what you want without caring about how the lines look and stuff so yea flow got this aspect... good luck to both no hate peace
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01-05-05, 06:09 PM | #11 | ||||
Knock out kings fur life
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IP: 07D4 5143
naw no hard feelings dammit lol.
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01-07-05, 01:34 AM | #12 | |||||
The Epitome Of Greatness
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IP: 3240 794D
Flow Intelligent Wins By K.O 1-0
Flow Intelligent +5 50Hater_Killer -3
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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion |
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