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02-09-04, 03:03 PM | #1 | ||||||
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Anarchy
IP: 4287 3F49
aight b4 i post this shit, know that we had an assignment saying "write about your worst nightmare" and i wrote this shit so i aint hoping this happens in any way
Anarchy is officially Here say hello to all of you greatest Fear Only the strong survive i suggest u make those Tears Dissapear The lies that before were hidden we now see It/ Bush sent out all our troops for another war leaving us Depleted/ Children have taken soul control with the use of Guns/ It wasn't taken seriously til they tortured thousands of helpless Nuns/ The gun smoke is so thick at high noon it seems so Dark/ DR was pierced through the Heart while playing with his kids in the Park/ Another prominant figure's family is kidnapped at the set of every Hour/ A DODDS base was taken over given rioters even more Firepower/ While driving CP's car was surrounded and Flipped/ A building housing a Cabinet meeting was blown up by Revolutionists/ The police department have refused to fight a war they'll Lose/ Revolutionist have taken control of the News and Through it recruited millions of more Fools to accept their catastophic Views and Move/ Military groups have joined forces making this team more Dominant/ An unidentified man shot and killed GW at a press Conference/ Lies buried were blown up to end the Nonesense/ Monatary items are burned with chants of "Fuck profits"/ the class structure is now more size of Gun then yearly Income/ A sinper shot DC no word of where the bullet could've came From/ Kids think its fun because With the music,movies,news, and games to all this violence we've become Numb/ All major jails were overturned releasing millions of convicted Cons/ the sec.of Defense seems Calm cuz the chair is equipped wit a motion sensitive Nuclear Bomb/ A delagate was strangled in the hotel and put on TV in the absense of Clothes One by one milatary bases are Overthrown giving radicals Complete Control/ The team of radicals come on TV and name themself "Fate"/ Bodies of children pollute Lakes while the father is forced to watch his daughter and wife get Raped, they recorded and played him scream "Wait" threw the duct Tape/ Banks are broken into people scramble to take whatever they can Get/ Bomb codes are found and set off blowing random cities to Bits just for fun and Kicks/ People join "fate" unwillingly out of fear for their family's Health/ With everyone fighting for us who will save us from Ourself?/ Ten year old opens fire at a Middle School while Laughing/ The Nation is taken over in a day, this shit could really Happen/ |
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02-09-04, 04:50 PM | #2 | ||||||
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IP: 4287 3F49
lets up this thang
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02-09-04, 05:04 PM | #3 | |||||||
1E
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IP: DF7B C8F7
semms like you post a lot of stuff, you wrote for schooling... but anyways thought this was pretty good, some decent multis, but other than that the scheme seemed pretty basci, but this made for an easy read, so all in all it seemed pretty balanced... so yeah decent..... always like to return feed.... keep at them man..
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02-09-04, 05:06 PM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: 4287 3F49
Yeah i gotta make a usage for the garbage i post in my English class. This shit made a girl cry so i figured i'd post it.
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02-09-04, 05:21 PM | #5 | |||||||
1E
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IP: DF7B C8F7
ahh... arent you the Romeo....lmao....
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02-09-04, 05:24 PM | #6 | ||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: 4577 CD9A
This is SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my sigs cool huh!!!!!!!
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02-09-04, 08:20 PM | #7 | |||||||
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IP: 4287 3F49
Quote:
Yeah well you know i'mma romantic |
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02-10-04, 11:09 AM | #8 | ||||||
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IP: 4287 3F49
and up we go
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02-10-04, 11:16 AM | #9 | ||||||
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IP: 40D6 EBC3
Good vocabulary... Nice flow... Structure was good...
Nothing much to critisize... So im gona take a leaf out of Pen's book... And resort to name calling... You suck, really you do... Happy ? Good drop man... Hit up... 'Chapter One'... Thanks... Pz... |
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02-10-04, 11:22 AM | #10 | |||||||
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IP: 4287 3F49
Quote:
Trust me tha last thing you wanna do is copy something form Penskillz. Appreciate tha feed back i'll hit ya joint up in a second. |
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02-10-04, 01:37 PM | #11 | ||||||
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IP: 1D04 65C4
can't say Im into all this really deep stuff, but I enjoyed that.well written. well structured.Not much I could say other than I would've liked to have seen a few more multi's myself, but that's just a matter of taste. Keep up the good work, I wouldn't pay too much attention to it when people speak about a lack of vocab. Music and lyrics are an expression, and expressions should be made to be understood. Anyway I really liked it good work. (flow was good too )
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