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Old 08-05-05, 09:48 PM   #1
Sean Gunner
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Atticus vs. Spoken Word

IP: 6E62 15D6

The Rules

Good Luck.
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Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.
 
Old 08-06-05, 11:24 AM   #2
FlowIntelligent.
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Good Luck Atticus

2 Of the best topical writers against each other.

Should be interesting.
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Old 08-06-05, 12:11 PM   #3
atti?
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Lololmao Dammit...

Every Tourny I Do I Get Equal Matches First Round...

You Guys Should Be Trying To Weed Out The Weaker Ones First Round...
Haha This Is A Lose Lose, Whatever...

But Ya, Best Of Luck Flow...
I Prolly Wont Drop Till Tuesday, Cuz Im Leaving Till Monday...
.One.
 
Old 08-06-05, 12:14 PM   #4
atti?
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Lol Hey Rev...

???, Dont We Need A Topic Haha...

Get At Us, Cuz Ya, Thats Pretty Important...
.One.
 
Old 08-06-05, 12:18 PM   #5
atti?
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Dammit, Where's The Edit Key...

Lol I Found The Topic ...
.One.
 
Old 08-08-05, 11:15 AM   #6
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7:25 Am, Monday Morning
Walk Ta School, My Shoe Souls As Bold As Mine... Holes Bind
To Both...Ridiculed I Keep Stepping, "Please," Fretting Ol' My
Hope'll Never Pronounce Out A Year Tears Have Drownd.
PassDown 47th, A Block To Pass Before Fears Bore Down.
More Heat Stressing My Already Poor Scene... Getting
Sweaty As Nature, Letting Her Love Sift, Eases A Led Wince
With A Soft Natured Kiss... The Breaze Tickles My Features,
Eyes Quiver, Her Kiss Is Easing And Almost Free's Worlds.
A Brief Smile So Wild, My Cheeks Crease And BiFold
Until My Old Sneaks Reach School Whild My Mind Stands In Miles.
*Walks Through The Doors, Trudges Along To Locker*

7:56 Am, Monday Morning
Kids In The Hallway: Haha Nice Shoes Mutha Fucka. Haha Broke Ass Nigga, You...

I Pay No Attention, I Am Broke, Make Fun, What I
Have No Way To Cope Or Comeback At A Line.
So I Block It Out, Now Off In A Wholesome Cloud
Of Blank Mind, "DO YOU MIND?!" All Gone Now.
Their BullShit Is Just To Much This Year!
Freshman Stresses To God Damn Sophmore, Kiss Fear,
Junior Here I Sit Same Shit Plagues And I Contradict
Wether Livin Is Near Impossible And Thi-... "Move It Along Rick!"
Drop My Head... Press My Face In Hands And Along
I Move To Class, Last Thought, Slit My Wrist And On
I Dance To Understanding Surroundings In Hands
Of God... Jesus Please Just Save Me, "GOD!, Not NEXT TO ME! Damn."
"Bitch", Stupid Popular People Pretty Physical, Useless
Mental, "You Bitch" On And On I Insue But Itsall Useless.

2:15 Pm, Monday Afternoon
Rest Of The Fucking Day Falllowed Suit, Yet A Few
Point Of The Day Stayed True In My Mind... Cut, Bloom
Through Death If You Cant Set A Root In Human Sets.
The Happiest All Day Had Been When The Human Left,
Spiritual Ensued, Wind And Natures Wings Lifted
A Broken Angel And Gifted His World With Lift An
He Flew... Threw The Pages Of Mind To My Room.
Smiling Until I Find Im Not In That Place Anymore, "My Room"
Suddenly My Face Hot Pulse Race Red Eyed And Wide Faced
As An Idea Races In The Binds Of A Minds Tryd Gates.
Thoughts Quick Erratic, PASSIONATE! IRATE!
RACEING! RAVENGING! PAAAAIN!... Then It Stopped As I Grabbed At Its Pain.
In Those Odd Few Minuts Of Unity Between The Odd N' Human Beings
I Tied The Noose, Learnd To Fly And Dived Out My Window Of Oportunity.

7:15 Am, Monday Morning

*Knocking On The Door*
Dad: Rick, Got To Get Its Time For School.
Rick: *Wipes Sweat Off Forhead*
Ya... Ya Dad, Ill Be... Ill Be Right Down.

*Father Closes Door*

Rick: *Starts To Cry*
Goodbye Dad...

*Opens His Window*
 
Old 08-09-05, 05:07 PM   #7
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Window Of Opportunity

A young man named Anthony has a dilemma as follows; He must choose between living his life with the woman he loves or relocating to another branch of his bank and take the position of manager... But his window of opportunity is slowly closing...


The Beginning:

He slowly wakes up, The alarm clock buzzing in the distance
Matting his ratty hair, He raises from the bed in an instance
For the following minutes, Anthony sits wearily in his chair
Getting ready for work was a dread, But he had to be there
See, Anthony never missed a day of work in over a decade
Yet was still a teller, It seems his career was in checkmate
Through the grapevine he overheard words of a promotion
And inside his body, His soul had made a roaring commotion
The drive home from work seemed to make the day feel better
And knowing his wife was waiting, Had him tugging his sweater
But when he opened the creaking door, His sense was fear
The cold air made him senseless here, He set his stare
His cloudy vision didnt help, But he could feel a pressence
He groped around and touched someone in a matter of seconds
His wife giggled, He calmed down and took her in his arms
They both felt at this point, The world could do no harm

But It Does...........

After their brief hellos', Anthony quietly cleared his throat to speak
He told her about the promotion, And saw her knees grow weak
They both knew her life was here, And moving wasnt an option
"Anthony, the other branch is in Cali, Thats far away from Boston"
He heard her heavy breathing, Watched her nostrils grow with air
But couldnt pass-up this opportunity, "Honey, Im going there"
"I understand you love this place, but i finally got my dream,
And if you love me, You'll see how much this really means to me"
The air seemed to get thick, The windows glazed with frost
The animals ran for shelter, It looks like i have to pay the cost


6 Months Later:

The wind was soothing in this blistering heat.. Anthony thought
He made the decision to move away, So his love life is lost
"I know i gave up my old life, But this is something new to me
The only choice i had was to jump through my window of opportunity"
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Old 08-10-05, 09:42 AM   #8
atti?
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Pft Lolmao No Ones Gonna Vote On This...

There Are Only 6 Battlers...
Two Of Wich Are Us And 4 Of Wich Arent Even Active In The RVO...

Thiiiiiiiis Is Gonna Take A Awhiiiiiiiile...

Flow You Wanna Copy And Paste These Into A Real Battle???...
So We Can Get Real Votes And Shit???...
Get Back To Me...

I Think You Won Anyways...
My Shits Harder To Fallow *Shrugs*...
.One.
 
Old 08-11-05, 08:49 PM   #9
Sean Gunner
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Technically Atticus went over the line limit. I will leave it to FI to decide whether he is DQed or not.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.
 
Old 08-12-05, 11:29 AM   #10
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Doesnt matter, this aint getting votes anyways...
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Old 08-12-05, 11:42 AM   #11
atti?
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Stop Tryna Be A Hard Ass Rev...

We're The Only 3 Three Here (In The Rvo)...

Why Are There Sooooooooo Few Battlers???...
.One.
 
Old 08-12-05, 09:25 PM   #12
Sean Gunner
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Atticus:

I'm not a fan of suicide stories because they don't present a lot of creativity, but this was ok. Kind of a basic story, kid being teased and he thinks his only way out is suicide. I kinda like the approach you took on this topic, but it could have been a lot better. Vocab didn't really suit the person to me, but the story kept me reading. Not the best I've seen, but not bad. Could beat most people on this site. 7/10

FI:

Yours was a tad more creative then Atticus', but not as detailed. Your story was kind of boring, not that much suspense to me, and emotion was average. This was an ok piece, but nothing amazing or special. 6/10

Closed

Atticus is the winner due to a 1-0 vote.
__________________

Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.
 
 


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