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01-26-04, 02:26 PM | #1 | ||||||
New to RB
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'Saving Face'
IP: 7FDF 14FE
The victory has been declared as the U.S. defeats
Their rival adversaries, and now has the rights To pursue the freedoms they've been aspiring All of these countless years.. First there was a plan.. Unfolding beneath the plain Underneath the tidiest mentions Underlying beneath revived names.. Challenging the masses From Damascus up in shackles Battered, the bruised souls take.. EAch waking moment to back up Every movement in it`s own place.. Now Different races all pursue Under one name, prosecuted Slammed against the walls, blundered Confused, not knowing what to do.. And now the President, our local resident Inhabitant, always battling.. Although we never understood He impressed upon the neiborhoods.. A shame at that, our President Should know his ways malevolent.. He's opposite benevolence Forever setting precedents.. The predicament at hand seems worse The preachers believing Bereaving the churches.. In which we worship daily And the meager find them worthless.. So now were caught up in a mix Tangled in lifes sick ugly twists.. Of sons a bitches suckin' dicks Of others who don't give a shit.. Now the free ain't free Lower classes poverty Peruvian cocaine run the streets AS police beat on you and me.. Political ties in which they mold The Government will NOT be sold For they run under no control of the mind.. Which will be our downfall.. SEems like victory at last Dwelling on the past.. Such a task and so we bask In our hopeless fates of time Soon to see a flat line.. The cosmos has and will diminish Cause our leaders a fuckin mimic.. In the silhouette of his father Finishing our only daughters.. Problem is, the places he goes Acting behind curtains closed Caught up in mass covered lies Fuckin' patriots soon to defy This puppet all in lies.. The show must go on bestowed - Will no longer last, with no more growth.. Fuck it, Anyways this mans finished Who could have caused such blasphemy? Mr. Bush so happily.. AFter all he's 'saving face' A disguised figure in his place, Merged with terroristic leaders - EAch face in which are on his trump cards.. Now whos the enemy.. The devil..? Or the man we have in charge? Think about it..
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..Ghetto Essence.. |
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01-26-04, 02:35 PM | #2 | |||
"The Eleete"
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IP: FAD9 BD2A
At first glance i thought this should of been put under Poetic Scriptures.......but as i read it i though it flowed really makin it a good song.........it was pretty deep in content considering im in the military an know a lot about what your talking about........all in all i liked it........keep doing your thing.........an look up my latest piece : YOUR MY WORST ENEMY or just click one of my links for my past ones........but keep doing your thing an hit me up anytime......peace
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01-26-04, 05:47 PM | #3 | ||||||
New to RB
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IP: 7FDF 14FE
come on...
__________________
..Ghetto Essence.. |
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01-26-04, 05:49 PM | #4 | |||||||
1E
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IP: DF7B C8F7
the basic content was ok... but the way you set it out needs work,... the flow didnt really seem to get going, changing when the verses did, plus they are too short,.... make your barz longer....
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01-26-04, 07:32 PM | #5 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 7FDF 14FE
^ don't mind him, he doesn't know what hes talking about.
This was very nice, propaganda. I'm really feeling this because you have a lot of good points, i like to see opinionated pieces like this. The flow was fine, that dev kid can't read quality pieces i guess. The schemes were set up so nicely complimenting the next. I really felt this a lot and the saving faces was used as symbolism throughout the whole piece. Very well written right here. Much respect on that. That kid up there just doesn't understand it much, cause of the complexity of it. I understand it though, and you deserve the praise for it. |
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01-27-04, 08:24 AM | #6 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 2F9D AE7B
Good work...the lines were well put together.....flow was nice good vocab...great topic spreading something different than other posts....spreading REAL LIFE shit
i dig these topics more. overall its 8.5 outta 10 Peace.. 1........ |
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01-27-04, 08:32 AM | #7 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 6F9E F23B
flowed great...wordplay and msg and vocab was gud...
liked this piece cos it was different and a different structure |
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