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10-12-03, 04:13 PM | #1 | ||||||
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These little white lines
IP: BC86 E194
As I sit and stair out my window thinking of a better time
Slowly following with my eyes as I intake the white line What troubles will tomorrow bring and what does this all mean? I lit my cigarette and contemplate this never-ending riddle Staring threw the rising smoke and feeling oh so little Surrounded by troubles on all sides the pressure building slow And I have no place to run to; I have no place to go I seek refuge in my mind and the drugs they calm my heart When did it go so wrong when did this shit start I look down at my pale skin, its translucent I can see through What I see puzzles me and sends me to a wonderful place A land of hope and mystery where everyone has a chance Love resides and people sing and people dance A place to call home a place to call my own Id live there in happiness for all eternity But a trickle of blood brings me back to reality This concrete jungle I call home this ghetto I reside Where drugs and alcohol run my life and pain lives inside I’m a prisoner in my body and my soul sleeps at night I try to look threw the haze and see what’s happened to me But it can’t be done all I see is the darkness and the tears The tears of hope and the tears of stress There’s nothing left of my life, I need a break, some time to rest Clutter and confusion and puzzlement and pain It comes and goes but in the end it’s all the same And all that will clear it is the drugs that keep me sane I know what must be done to stop this crying in my brain I look out the window inhale a finale breath Look down at the white line and take up the rest Lay my head back and exhale the sorrow Maybe things will be better tomorrow let me know what ya think |
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10-12-03, 08:06 PM | #2 | |||||||
..Soft Focus..
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IP: 5526 6C09
excellent peice...for only 5 drops...that was great...i liekd your wordplay and internals...you created a very indepth story line...i liekd it...7.5-8/10
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Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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10-12-03, 08:44 PM | #3 | |||||||
Sharp Perfection.
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IP: 4427 B15C
iight
wow for a 5th post this was awsome, but you cant really go by how many posts theyve got here, who knows how long theyve been writing, anywho this was great, you really showed me the whole picture, made me feel like i was in your head right while this was really happening, you made it come to life for me, and made me feel your pain, your thoughts clear, and i loved it all. i think alot of us once see/picture this place where we could be so happy and things would be perfect often wish we were that person we see from afar and think they have everything so alot of ppl can relate in one way or another. great piece waiting for more! ~Tera~ DONT HATE
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R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
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10-13-03, 06:22 PM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: CFFE 3708
thx ALOT for the input
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