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08-29-03, 02:58 AM | #1 | |||
AI
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Sunny Days: A Clash Between Prospectives
IP: 87B0 7F3F
MeNtiLL
the populous. Lookin thru my window I see why I tend to smoke tha endo And juss sit here goin' mental yellin' at my new nintendo When it acts up, I wanna rap but parents say I need a back up Inspiration for me? There's a lack of, But I don't wanna pack up And juss leave, Cuz for me I see I wanna be an emcee Whether tha path is friendly or not it seems tempting To quit, FUCK! SHIT! And Im always wonderin' why it's rainin Got no job, education, or trainin', Parents always complain Talkin bout, MeNTiLL U need to grow up get a life Yea right. Get a job? Go to school? Find a bitch to be my wife? It's not for me, Ur not stoppin me from playin' monopoly I was never good at mathmatics or writin hypothesis That's tha main reason Im freezin juss sittin on my bed breathin Words wit sum sort of meanin, While trapped in tha everlastin season Of rain, Pain, Stains, Frames of broken fantasied but who's to blaim? Me? Or tha same people that claim to have given me my name? Im not sure. Juss tryna escape from these locked doors See tha American Dream But exactly who is tha plot for? Is it writtin for a black man runnin who has no money One who grew to hate Santa along wit tha Easter Bunny And they tell me imaginations run high. It's funny Im tired of girls askin their little friends, Why's he so ugly And U say sumone loves me? I think not Tha things that I think rot so I write words in ink blots To express myself and help myself put tha gun away and not run away It's rainin' inside but Im hopin' to get out to that sunny day G. Hod the reformer. The sun shines, regrettably -- wasted, as it beats on their hair Masses throw it out, hoping to experience deceit and despair "Fight it," says instinct. . Ignored, as the masses' head rears foward I swear, this is the next epidemic -- Paralyzed, as death veers toward Fuck the analogy; a full glass comes never, now it pulls crass together Optimism out the window. . Education starts it, our schools pass endeavors.. as if they hold no weight; Ruled by majority, our snide sensors tame it (endeavor) What happened to art-forms? "Man v. Beast" now provides entertainment The present holds the future. . Very few vigilantes compress my qualms Depression's an epidemic -- Soon, Red Cross will drop anti-depressant bombs I don't mean to whine. . The back-packers' expectations touch deranged fountains But my mind will wonder out-of-range, in exploration of the brain's mountains It's got the wealth addicted. . Everyone's blue, myself -- exquisite We act as if the experts don't know this "disease" is self-inflicted G. and Mentill -- It's too easy, we've done spun minds together But, believe it, my audience. . Realize that the sun shines forever
__________________
Authentik Intelligence
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08-29-03, 03:22 AM | #2 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 418E 0B58
DAMNIT I LOVE IT
this is my kind of open mic... now to disect It's not for me, Ur not stoppin me from playin' monopoly loved the line... all your internal rhymes were great, u probably averaged 4 rhymes per line (im guessing) which is good by my book. The approach was nice, and you handled it well. it felt like you were over the phone talking to me about it... part 2 i didnt totally get what you were saying. the approach seemed like a parent giving his child a speech... MeN being the child (that makes this whole thing all the better) the ending was great But, believe it, my audience. . Realize that the sun shines forever i think im gonna cry 10/10, do it again |
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08-29-03, 07:36 PM | #3 | |||||||
The Golden Chyld
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IP: 442A 538F
This shit came out to be stupid dope fresh G. Hod...Im likin' it...We gonna have to do anutha collab sumtime....And people give us sum real replies...Peace
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08-29-03, 07:40 PM | #4 | |||||||
dot dot dot
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IP: C935 E328
this was a damn good open mic...i liked tha whole thing...both mentill's and g. hod's verses was good...nice shit...
keep it up... we're back |
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08-29-03, 07:48 PM | #5 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: FA3A 67F9
To quit, FUCK! SHIT! And Im always wonderin' why it's rainin
Got no job, education, or trainin', Parents always complain aint that the truth...feeling it fellas...you both portrayed your thought's very well, strong writers voice throughout the piece.. also mentills heavy use of internals added a little kick to his rhyme scheme, ill flow....G hod came solid on every aspect of his verse...much props. |
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08-29-03, 08:03 PM | #6 | |||||||
Just call me your Savior
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IP: BB8C D4B2
that's wat we need right there, that was some hard shit, makes u wanna just think about it all day, tha whole topic and tha two views gave tha topic an even more powerful and dynamic feeling two it
to tha mechanics, nice multis, good flow, easy to read and understand overall nice drop
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<marquee>?</marquee> |
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08-30-03, 12:54 AM | #7 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: B20F 67F7
i liked this a lot...
i'd say a lot more but you can't pronounce feelings... peace props and respect |
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08-30-03, 02:39 AM | #8 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: C1DA C961
That was great !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
U guys should colab a lot more. Different styles of writing that mathced up perfectly for this piece. I know I'm not just speaking for myself when I say " U guys should do more of this" PEACE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~> |
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08-30-03, 03:35 AM | #9 | |||||||
BANNED
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IP: 5231 27A4
Quote:
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08-30-03, 11:05 PM | #10 | |||||||
The Golden Chyld
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IP: D97B 6367
Uppin for sum more replies...Peace
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08-30-03, 11:34 PM | #11 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 4577 CD9A
i love it now y cant i think of shit that good
damn |
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08-31-03, 02:26 AM | #12 | |||||||
The Golden Chyld
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IP: D97B 6367
Uppin for sum more replies...No more one liners tho....Peace
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08-31-03, 02:30 AM | #13 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 19AF 50C1
YO YOU HAD A GREAT CONCEPT.UTALIZED SIMPLE TEXT TO MAKE IT FIT RIGHT.AND YOU USED GRAPHIC WORDS TO PAINT THE PICTURE WE CAN RELATE TO.
G~HOD POPPED IT OFF JUST AS ILL LYRICAL CONTENT WOWED ME A LIL AND THAT AINT EASY I SET A HIGH STANDARDS FOR ALL POSTS I READ THIS IS ONE OF THE RARE PEACES I CAN SAY MET THAT STANDARD COMPLETELY. |
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08-31-03, 01:58 PM | #14 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: B47A 7630
G. and Mentill -- It's too easy, we've done spun minds together
But, believe it, my audience. . Realize that the sun shines forever Yes the sun does shine forever.....something i should realize becuz i have been beginning to give up in life. This was nice.... I loved the collab, Your vocab was excellent and so was this topic. I hope to read more from you. Overall- 10.10 can you guys check out mine? |
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09-01-03, 02:11 PM | #15 | |||
AI
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IP: 87B0 7F3F
to the top, please.
__________________
Authentik Intelligence
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