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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-04-04, 09:38 AM
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#1
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New to RB
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All good things...
IP: EE88 2083
All Good Things Think back...ponder over wasted chances, Misbuilt romances & complicated finances, Screwed situations..rotten from the the foundations, Each daily rotation only increases the complications, Trivial problems escalate beyond retrieval, Uncontrollable evil the cause of much upheaval, Heartbroke the day these events occured, Ill never love anyone,as much as i did her, Everything seemed to be going fine, I was hers...and she was mine, Enjoyed great times,life was for once worth living, Pray to thank god for all the happiness he was giving, But feelings of content were shortlived, Didnt wanna face the truth, just ran and hid, Ever since i lost my only loved girlfriend, Ive realised, All good things come to an end,
__________________
<center>Suicide inc.</center> |
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01-04-04, 09:55 AM
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#2
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Guest
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IP: 7A38 2D7B
good concept, flow and vocab..vocab stood out the most to me..well written and understandable without being to simple...its all about balance...lol
keep droppin |
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01-04-04, 12:17 PM
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#3
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Guest
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IP: 1FDF 4BFE
Ok, this piece was alright... I thought you could get some multi's in there or something. The flow was perfect. I think you need too make shit not as simple... like add some complexity or somethin. I think u need to elevate.
peace |
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01-04-04, 06:53 PM
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#4
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Word.
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IP: DD10 0DFF
You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.
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01-05-04, 12:37 AM
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#5
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Flyweight
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IP: 3940 2ECC
lol, yo, nice ryme technique you got there. i like it so much that i had to read it three times. i feel you.
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01-05-04, 01:05 AM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: 1A7F 5D33
Well, I feel your pain .....hoes are hoes don't go near them less their naked.
Anyways, this looked like something for poetry forum rather than open mic, Couldn't find your flow...might just be me though. keep droppin. |
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