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Old 06-18-05, 05:53 PM   #1
Crazy Hades
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God's Wrath

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A star's glow reflected, the twinkle in the eyes of his greed,
shattered lust, through the dust, of the age Made of Need.
The angels swift, wild call, a white ball descends.... humble.
Nothing but the sure strut...a bright, vivid canopy of jungles.
A rumble.... caused trees to fumble their dying, sad children.
Solace sought, all thoughts were then lost in the wild winds.
Plump clouds of precipitation, ready to wash all cruel nations,
Collections a mystery, to fulfill a legend, history in the making.
Tears of the Kingdom, watching from the large, broad firmament,
for the perfect race created, just self-destruction by the turn of it.
The water stripping, and the ripping sea, the tides laced with bark.
The stars wink.... the light casts glows over the wood of the ark.
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Old 06-19-05, 11:54 PM   #2
Christianite
Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
 
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this was good, enjoyed readin it... made me think a lil, keep it up
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i come from a time when you earned respect,
for your rhyme and the way you made words connect,
not the money that you made or the girls you sexed,
a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet
Mars Ill
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Old 06-20-05, 01:18 AM   #3
~*Khatharsis*~
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deep and passionate.

A star's glow reflected, the twinkle in the eyes of his greed,
shattered lust, through the dust, of the age Made of Need.
The angels swift, wild call, a white ball descends.... humble.
Nothing but the sure strut...a bright, vivid canopy of jungles.
^^^this was nice, you led me rite in, this makes the reader really think. puts your mind to work.

A rumble.... caused trees to fumble their dying, sad children.
Solace sought, all thoughts were then lost in the wild winds.
Plump clouds of precipitation, ready to wash all cruel nations,
Collections a mystery, to fulfill a legend, history in the making.
^^^this was damn deep. mad wordplay, alot of emotion, its nothing i would change in this.

Tears of the Kingdom, watching from the large, broad firmament,
for the perfect race created, just self-destruction by the turn of it.
The water stripping, and the ripping sea, the tides laced with bark.
The stars wink.... the light casts glows over the wood of the ark.
^^^once again, you led the reader rite out of the poem. made them put there mind to work and understand the emotion and pulled them rite into the story, made the a reader a statistic.
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