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Old 01-29-05, 11:46 AM   #1
Dabatos
C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
 
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Drama Queen Vs. Personify

IP: 7669 3009

Check in's due before tuesday 12 A.M. Pacific Time
Verses Due before friday 12 A.M. Pacific Time
Line Limit: 20-50 Lines Max
First to 3 votes win
3-0 = KO

You must vote in 2 other battles or you will not continue on into the next round.

Topic: Un-wanted Presence.
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Last edited by Dabatos : 01-29-05 at 07:45 PM.
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Old 01-29-05, 01:28 PM   #2
Sean Gunner
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Aw man you really are trying to eliminate me aren't you? Haha good luck Drama, I look forward to this battle.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.
 
Old 01-29-05, 01:58 PM   #3
Dabatos
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I believe you said you wanted competition
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Old 01-29-05, 02:42 PM   #4
DQ
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Damn...against one of best immediately...well, this is my check-in, should be hot battle! Good topic please!

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Old 01-29-05, 07:37 PM   #5
Sean Gunner
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I have a good idea DQ, let's use my topic. Why Dabatos is Lame. It's dope isn't it?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.
 
Old 02-04-05, 05:52 AM   #6
DQ
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Listen, I'm confused with those deadlines and time zones stuff so is it okay if I drop in like uhm 7-8 hours or so? Don't wanna no-show...(just got up)

DQ
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Old 02-04-05, 11:31 AM   #7
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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Insecurity

Can't help but reminisce the magical night you and I shared
The way you cared but as the days fly by I'm getting scared
In the heat of the moment,we forgot to use protection
Blinded by affection and busy striving for perfection
Am stressing out,please tell me what the hell I should do?
Maybe it's stomach flu or the cause of me being overdue
Insecurity increases but am afraid to say it out loud
Never thought my world would be covered by such a dark cloud
I decide to act and buy the test that could change my life
And determine my future:careless teenager or a house wife?
.
.
.
...Pink line appears...confirming my fears...
.
.
.
Consequences

Don't deny the consequence that I have been forced to carry
Your actions get wary but this ain't a cheap excuse to marry
Poisoned words you speak now are hurting deep inside my soul
You made me whole but raising a child at 16 was never my goal
Months have passed and your daughter has never seen your face
Never felt your embrace,every day I pray it'll fall into place
Working day n night to provide the material things she needs
The struggle proceeds,look into her eyes and my heart bleeds
Begging for your assistance while you ignore her existence
And yet,I just know that you're watching us from a distance



Structure changed at Drama Queen's request. Px
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Last edited by Px : 02-04-05 at 03:56 PM.
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Old 02-04-05, 05:20 PM   #8
Sean Gunner
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Un-wanted Lives

Un
I was a mistake to this world and my momma didn't want me
I would be lying inside a dumpster if abortions weren't so costly.
Experiences upon which my mind was barely able to comprehend,
Went through pre school and kindergarten without a friend.
My parents ignored me and pretended like my existence was a trick,
An allusion on their eyes, treated me like a bucket of dog shit.
I tried to keep my composure but re occurrences happened like a fountain,
At nights, I would wish that I could "Ever Rest" and forget the mountain.
Before I graduated, first I had already seen more then some in lifetimes,
only way I felt wanted was through dope beats and hip hop rhymes.


-Wanted
However, this decision only caused more tribulations in my hard knock life,
Every street I went down I had to clench my fists and be ready to fight.
The sight of a white man in black clothes sparked the attention of some,
Thought I was making fun of the people with what their rhymes have done.
I only wanted to be accepted, but no one ever took their time,
To try to recognize my cries and what I was trying to find.
My lyrics inspired those who had nothing to make it into something great,
that our fate was our own choice and to change our life was never too late.
The date of my court hearing made me realize of what I had caused,
Anger and murder sparked by a rapper trying to keep his lyrics raw.
I walk inside this courtroom of those who judge me by my lifestyle,
My court hearing became famous and was on no matter where you moved the dial.


Presence

Accusations of crimes, which my ideas laid but I never knew of,
Trying to decide to lock my life up or take away my one true love.
I pleaded and begged to let me record my thoughts again,
For 3 hours I could hear them argue on who would win.
Outside onto the walkway which my future lay hold,
Water lies on my skin and drops to the face which stays bold,
As I perspire, I realize my shivers and think, "How am I hot and cold?"
They sit down and smirk as they see my present state,
I wait and listen as the Foreman declares to everyone my fate.
"We feel his music should be stopped, and no longer able to be heard"
My brain cannot process the emotions that have been stirred becuz of these words.
I shout, protest, and end up killing in the mess,
I screwed up my chance to return to the life I had left.
During my life in and outside this cell, I have learned only one lesson,
No matter if it is my parents, fans, or government, I am an unwanted presence.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.

Last edited by Px : 02-04-05 at 05:24 PM.
 
Old 02-04-05, 05:25 PM   #9
Sean Gunner
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^^Sorry, I posted before I wanted to, so I edited it. I just included structure and making my spelling better.

Vote #1
Vote #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.

Last edited by Px : 02-05-05 at 12:03 AM.
 
Old 02-04-05, 07:06 PM   #10
Acuity
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Vote: Personify

Drama Queen, str8 up dere was absolutely nutin wrong wid ur drop and would have merked most top heads...........but Personifoes was at the same level, it was just more detailed...although he sacrificed story and flow, his topical was more in-depth an thought out..no h8

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Old 02-04-05, 09:32 PM   #11
Sean Gunner
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Thanks for the honest vote. Ya my story wasn't that original, and my flow wasn't as good. My flow is there, u just have to find it really. Lol
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.
 
Old 02-05-05, 01:05 AM   #12
~Babylon~
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ok.......

bottom line both of the verses were about the same........but px....had more detail just cause of the fact that it was longer........but i like the feal and flow that i got from drama queen............and her structer was better.....px i just think when you make the words that big it makes the structer seem bad.........but i just enjoyed DQ's verse more....no hate.......


v/DQ...............~Babz~
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Old 02-06-05, 06:00 AM   #13
DQ
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Thanks for fully explained votes, much appreciated by both of us...anymore please?

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Old 02-06-05, 10:45 AM   #14
Sean Gunner
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Still need 2 more votes........
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twisted Visions
50 nickle=less than 50 cent, go back to school you idiot
Seangunner@gmail.com
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me

^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly.
 
Old 02-06-05, 12:53 PM   #15
anxiety
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Pretty good battle here guys... I'm going to have to go with Drama Queen though, her verse kept me interested better than Personify's... She didn't have great vocab, which i love, she kept it easy to read and followed the topic perfectly...

P... Good shit also, basic vocab as well, good job with that... And not a bad verse either, it just didnt keep my attention as well as DQ's did... The flow was off in a few places, but overall, a good topical...

V/Drama Queen.
 
 


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