Im a newb, but here goes

Spittin:
Everytime i wake up, find my girl wanting too break up\
Life aint easy at an early age\
Getting qweezy while getting boo'd off the stage\
So while i be spitten this onto the page\
It'l be written and locked in a cage\
Cant find a job, getting attacked by the mob\
Mc donalds put me down\
Saying i was a clown\
I wasnt ill, feeling so hurt inside\
About too kill, in a car collide\

As i said im a newbie

aight 1st thing... your flow was wayy off
a cheap easy way to tell is if the lines look around the same lenght on the screen
2nd you need to up your vocab...

being a newbie only means your going to get better
just keep dropping and looking at other peoples Open Mics

Points taken
Tnx

no man dont listen do your thing but turn to audio its much better.
and your flow fits an audio head. keep elvating

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AFRICAS BASTARD SON

yea your flow was like no where
u need to realise being a newbie
isnt such a bad thing all u need is
guidance and u will peak dopness
umm yea make sure next time you
spit on a topic, not just randomness
or yourself, like a topic,, umm u need
to work on flow by maintaining a rhyme
scheme and a strong bar structure
like and even your lines more it helps
with flow if your gunna go lien for line
just keep playing with your style until
u reach certain elivation and u'll get the
hang of "text"..........................................

return the favor
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=83251

bullshit man flow is what you make it...

if you can make this flow one a REAL microphone then props...

D-Phylo is right, switch to audio and free more often...

don't listen to ignant talk about how your lines don't look the same length on the screen...that DEFINITELY doesn't mean a thing...

Yo and find a reason to spit and everything will come out nicely,

{Peace}

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