tell me wot u think and how to improve please.


My school reports always bad, aint never bin good
''hes very bight lad,but never works hard as he should''
It's a shame I could do well accademicaly, they say im lazy
But i try put all my talent into art and rapping,but i stay hazy
Break times blazing,got my crew raising phones,offa pussy's
man its fucking crazy, got these guys wanna hate me,rush me
push me, gimme dirty loks in the hallway, discuss me
behind my back they just pussy's, but 2 my face actin all mushy
you all in ya designer clothes,ill leave u wit stained burberry
open up the top of ya head like brain surgery
im only 15, but iim all ready murdering,the pide piper drown these vermin/
Thats school aint no learning, just fighting, jacking phones, burning/
When teachers talk i react licke Eric sermon
Quick smack to the jaw, now thats learning,
and ill never change

I liked this. I can relate because in highschool I was bullied a lot. This is an original subject. Good drop.

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.

wot u mean?

You need to reply to 3 other Open Mics and tell what you think about it and how to improve it...then post their names here.

I'll give you some feedback...

Your piece here was alright.....structure wise was ok, it could be touched up a bit though.....you had some good vocab, could be up'd a bit though....try using some multies in this though to help it out...but overall this was alright...keep a it.

Now do that to 3 other threads and post names here. Thanks. Or this will get closed.

aiight thanx

D-chillz
Liba Dee
WORD~PERFECT

dope but the spelling could've been worked on. I really can't relate with the violence but the way you send your message makes me even try to relate. Good drop work on the spelling.

Okay, not bad, could of been better to me. Nice imagry in there, but still its missing something, cant really figure it out, but missing a thing. I'll come back if I can find out what. Overall, this was an okay piece. Nice job.

Yo you buggin wit that flow. Poor choice of words for the concept.
I see potential and mere talent but you need to enhance the vocab and create a flow not just rap. Good luck. May flows be with you and bless the mic.