I'm now inspired to see you eat barbed wire,
you tryin to spark ish im sparrin with fire,
unheartin knights and squires,
and shoot poison darts at sires,
fulfill dark desires,
when i burn fakies like hades,
i lurk in the shadows lately
thats why i might seem kinda shady,
thats no reason to hate me, you fake g.
the bottom of my size 11 is where ya fate be,
you irritate me,
now get incinerated, oblitherated,
i insinuated, that my intents of hatred,
will be aggravated / assault and murder thats pre-meditated.
i see you hesistated,
before you continued to read whats left,
you took a breath
a bump of crystal meth
but this next verse i disperse, will be worse
than sayin you're 1st born will catch crib death,
and i live LEFT,
of the RIGHT frame of mind,
i pain the kind, with insane designs,
that detatch brains from spines,
and leave you senseless,
defenseless, against this,
kid thats relentless,
in the methods i use to bruise attitudes,
come after you with a bat or 2,
and splatter through,
the skull that encases grey masses,
im the fastest to slay wackness with an ax pic,
as i go spastic, stretchin out ya ass kick, like elastic...
on a skinny girls panties, bein worn by a fat chick,
yes...im that sick,
that i might get off on such a scene,
and i'll bust a stream of lyrics that'll cut ya team,
in disgusting ways, with rusty things,
and like you cant touch a dream,
you cant grasp the concepts
that i concoct on a constant,
burn non-sense, like incense
in past or pre-tense,
send gas through 3 vents to put you out with no contest.
ect...ect...ect....

Replied to: scott free
rule
word~perfect
etc...

..Uppin..

This was alright i thought....your structure could use some work though i think, try keeping your lines around the same length so its structured good and so it helps out the flow...you had some ok multies, try using more...but overall this was alright i thought...keep at it.

yo...that was aight...i couldnt really catch the hits and the flow wasnt doin much but it was aight overall...like Masta C said keep at it...peace.

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Knowledge Is King

all and all a solid peace your climax fell short and set up was a lil off but all in all this was a good start and i look forward to seeing more

..thanks for the feedbacks...if you have time...read my new post...thanks...

jus work on your structure and flow and you'll be straight nigga


I feel what you trying to do but it ain't working.

dis topic was kinda whack but o.k. and by da way you flow I can tell your a newbie, but practice will make your rap iller!!!!


beter luck next time nigga

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*Nashville city*