The frustrations of life are strife
I hate being scared cos im livin by the knife
I dont wanna be connected and stuck with a wife
I wanna be free and set up a colony
I wanna be a freestyler and exercise my usabilty
Stop all the locals dissing and hatin me
Thankful for my idols for helping and creatin me
With out them you wudnt be hearin me
And now my haters are fearin me
Cos the rhymes that im producing
Arent easily taken in cos their losing
Enough with their hate and brusin
Im rhyming,writing and crusin
Im a young white kid from the United Kingdom
Supposedly the best place for security and freedom
But its all made up by homocide and bleedin
And all im tryin to do is keepin
The next genration from death and cheating
Im not a one man Jesus
Its just God needs some saviours, just a few of us
And its coming through these rhymes
These one kids typing and lines
Tryin to get a new look on the hate of these times
Stop the constand barrage of 999's
and 911's, the usage of guns
the everyday drug runs
the crushing by tonnes
the rapin of moms
and help the people that need
that cant be tempted by the forces of greed
but are called by the addiction to weed
but everyone likes the green
Presidents, Kings and Queens
Bands, NFL, baseball and hockey teams
Well, no one can be totally clean!

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Rural Thug

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=1054469#post1054469

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=1054480#post1054480

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=1054490#post1054490

hhhm...well it was a little played but it worked for you because you had the flow to pull it off...vocab could do with reworking..all in all i'd give 6/10

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.

umm it was basic....but good for a first time.....try putting in some vocab.....ur flow was ummm alright

This was alright i suppose, very emotional i guess. Keep elevating, vocab could have made this stronger, less obvious rhyme choices. Fix up your structure, make it a bit more complicated. Good luck to you.

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tobacco pipe smoker
escobar, your life is over
justify the righteous nova
bullets flew out his right shoulder

It was kinda simple but i liked it keep it up