i raise ta praise, like tu-pac 'S' in his 90's day an age,
i phase to front 'an 'fade to black, whenever jay-z plays the 'i can rap' gam~e,
i heat up an get pissed off when slim sticks out to say hes the rage,
an fvcker'z cant touch him, tho we know he never socked a gage in his day~s,
amaz~e, 50 an AK, to the 'he can spray watever he wanna say',
play the game as if he own it, id say ja'fool beats him hands down always,
but wait 'i' dont like 'ja' either,no rap talent 'hip-POP' is his overall gain, an aim,
never mind 'the reign',~.... the rain fell on 'murder' since ahsanti played those words over an again,
Im sick of the fame, hip-hop used to be underground, littered talent on a underground stage,
but now its the money an how they can 'make it' an 'stake it' all in their claim,
so they payed, ive never seen hip-hop an rap so lame an 'vage',
it aint right that 'g-unit' shit should be played on the radio over-an-over again,
i wanna make this play, i wanna stick up guns an say im better than them all,
ma 'album' count decreasng, the more i listen the more i h8 an up-hore,
the more i learn, the more i stern to un-popualr comercailised emcees to call,
fvck 50, id like to see him freetyle gainst 'nas' who'd kill him an fill fo sure,
DRE 'V' an emcee off the streets,
take a 'gun' an a 'cadialic' to run him over with no clause,
'aftermath' to the 'last a laugh' press ed be gurglin verbally all over the floor,
an 'rap' ed be better without all fvckers who are 'like the best' egotised an so better than all,
Im a fall an stall ,h8 long as long as i want, 'norey' 'show me' new 'poppy' artists, staging themselves to king dom kum to glory,
starting up in the world, writing bout how they like women age of '40',
an im sick of D12, like bizarre? why u chat on about those 'non rap' stories,
ahaha fvck the eating of pussy, u could eat ure self, an still countinue to bore me,
an dont hold me cause id get the police to 'dirty old man' up-hold thee,
so blow me an control me, nah all u can do is 'poll me'(vote)...................


sh*t im too tired to go on.............wat yall think.

i sorta lost ma concentration near the end, but wateva.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...884#post1025884
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...887#post1025887
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...893#post1025893

come on peeps...

come on uppin 1~

i must ave given feedback to 7 other threads, an 'i' get sh*t back.....the link are on my posts so click em.......return the fvckin favour.

ffs

ffs.................................vote,,,,,,,,,, ,sddasdsadadsaaerwer2345345tg VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For real, the wordplay was outstanding. But, it was so good that I had a difficult time finding the flow at times. I would rather see U spit this as a track than to see it left as a written so I can critique as an audio verse....

__________________
B.E.S.T

The Comeback


||Sonny Barz! - The Middle Weight 1-2 Punchline Champion||SickHead.||Fly-E||Antonio Banderas|


Mystic (Traitor)

I liked it a lot. You may want to work on structure so it's easy for us to read. You've got some good wordplay and shit. Keep up.

this was okay

your wordplay and metaphores are WAY to stretched tho, u need to make them more simple so nobody loses the flow when reading

and lose the dashes and shit...

keep elevating
1