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Old 01-11-04, 07:14 PM   #1
Nzm
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Freestyle (battle) tell me what u think

IP: 718C 4318

wit the flow i got..i'll take it from there/
from what i see..the spot be vacant n clear/
u shakin of fear, u wanna be a warrior and chase wit a spear/
u out to defend yoself from the lions just in case they get near/
now u replacin a tear, wit anger cuz u don't see an ace in the mirror/
u tremblin, resemblin/
the simple men/
i tore up in my past yrs, the vast tears/
i've created, you've hated, everything i stated/
intelligence was belated as i waited/
for some real shit/
something to make me admitt that i feel it/
and slowly i heal wit/
the fact, that my rhymes is right n exact/
u retract, a few months back/
to the time that, you said NZM was phat/
wit a p.h., but to bad he hate/
lil ma fuckers that be spittin the shit/
out ta be gettin it quick, but never thank hip hop or respect it a bit/
but nzm got a plot and i settin it wit, a pen and a pad i am then set/
to rip the stage, i'll grip my rage/
hit the gadge, and leave a bullet in ya rib-a-cage/
me n my doggs got the shit made/
my song is still the hottest hit played/


this is only my display of multies.....so don't say.."oh he can flow wit multies..but he aint got punches"...shit..i just don't feel like writtin something new right now....so i givin u some old shit from a previous battle.....anyway...tell me what u think
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Old 01-13-04, 04:06 PM   #2
Nzm
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Question

IP: 99BE A6A5

where u all at?
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Old 01-13-04, 07:16 PM   #3
Menik
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This was ok....but you need to work on your structure.....try making the lines the same lenght, shorten some of the long ones and make the shorter ones longer....you had some ok multies, but the multie "rib a cage" seemed forced...but overall this was ok...just keep at it.
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