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Old 01-12-04, 07:37 PM   #1
rare
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quick lil spit - input good or bad jsut some

IP: 1E9C 9293

i woke up wit a fucked up reason for breathin'/
suicide is a way for grieving and leaving..../
this life,a slice of the wrist got me bleeding and weeping/
b4 death greets-me, emcees i be beating and defeating
leave me/
to act to a gat use wit one blast spewed, out the back to, stick to the grass roots/
to fucked up to react dude, go to heaven and god acts rude,
he got all the facts skewed/
so sending me to earth,kinda like a rebirth but backwards being born out a hurse, wit a curse, to act worse, and fuck church

im stumped dont know what else to say help me
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Old 01-12-04, 08:22 PM   #2
Menik
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this was ok....your structure could use some work though...try keeping your lines around the same length so its structured good, cause you had some stretched out lines in there...flow was alright in this, it fell off at points though...had some alright multies....but keep at it.
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