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Old 01-12-04, 08:11 PM   #1
deacon
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Deacon/ Sarcasm collab "the fine fruits of life"

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Sarcasm (very sorry i messed up the title name- deacon

My fruits of life, are hard to come by in many ways,
These great strives, must be supplied by how I say,
Some may say my family, is all I'd need to live,
Have you stepped in my shoes lately, God rarely forgives,
My insignificant sufferings, are polished by whats great,
all these vibrant humblings, reiterate what i'd just state,
That god rarely forgives, our past constantly relives,
That through all the pain and strife, I lost the finer fruits of life,
The criminal justice system wouldn't leave me alone,
They'd hone in on my moves, tapping into my phones,
But I couldn't leave it, to me it was the one and only fine fruit,
One that supported my family, with complete diregard for the youth,
I'd lost the meaning of the truth, all I wanted was a decent roof,
Decent livings, squandered away as soon as act stupid,
Caught in love by cupid, she's a lady officer, I knew it,
Now I've got nothing, I guess I should say just screw it,
Not many people get the fine fruits of life, I do, but i blew it,





deacon


I broke to listen on the truth of daily life,
picture perfect me and a shoe case of rigid knifes
Been scattered by the old,
worn thin to be controlled
as I slept to hear the finer things in life

“Burry me” was all they said
as they rang the bells “we’d rather be dead”
cause we broke the necks of Hollywood

Entertainment was hated
night became in famine
to the grass roots that twisted
in a screen play of enchantment

So blatantly so, we dug deep,
And they found the finer fruits
within this puddle of my own deceit.

“He is complete”
they uttered as the writers walked away
I was never deserving to take part in this beautiful symphony
Apparently, these lambs were generous
more generous so i soon invented trust
as they carried me home between a dark lit sky
with in a shattered earths crust…..
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Last edited by deacon : 01-12-04 at 08:26 PM.
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Old 01-12-04, 08:12 PM   #2
Tsar Casm
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ill...did it poetic style...dope...
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Old 01-12-04, 08:25 PM   #3
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BY THE WAY...DEAC PUT ME AS RELIK (MY OLD NAME)...I AM RELIK'S VERSE LOL..SARCASM
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Old 01-12-04, 08:36 PM   #4
rule
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Great Collabo...

Sarcasm...your verse was very wel lwrittin a nice free verse...
The rhyme scheme was good rythem to read was nice as well
some nice lines and vocabulary...overall you made a good impression for the reader

Deacon...you had a more poetic aproach to this...but it still flowed nicely because of the lines bein shorty made the rhyme scheme easier to flow. the picture described was very unique a lot of good lines and expressions well done

Over all you 2 wrote on a very unique base..the title for instance was rare...and the concept was nicely done

Keep it up.

If you's have time hit up something in my sig...thanks
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Old 01-12-04, 08:40 PM   #5
Viscosity
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this was a great piece..
A lot of meaning, great concept..
Structure and flow was exquisite by both

Now if u could be so kindly and return the favor:
"When My Eyes are Closed":
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...threadid=105888
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Old 01-12-04, 08:41 PM   #6
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Nice job guys. I liked the style of it. Good illistration, and vocab. Nice job overall and all around. Good job!!!
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Old 01-12-04, 08:52 PM   #7
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Thanks..I owe all of you..
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Old 01-12-04, 09:04 PM   #8
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This piece was amazing. I loved how Sarcasm created his verse multis, the picture he presented, and how the vocab was used very well in it...
Deacon, I loved the way you created it into a kind of, poetic style, yet o.m verse. You painted a very vivid picture for this, great imagry and vocab. I think this is most definately a legendz. Honesly, great job by both of you, amazing.
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Old 01-13-04, 11:41 AM   #9
deacon
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thanks and i will forsure check out all the pieces above....

-1-
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Old 01-13-04, 03:43 PM   #10
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uppin for the sexy ness to be seen
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Old 01-13-04, 06:51 PM   #11
Tsar Casm
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don't sleep on dopeness
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Old 01-14-04, 11:51 AM   #12
deacon
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no one cares anymore.....
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Old 01-14-04, 07:39 PM   #13
Tsar Casm
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Then I will jsut have to force them..
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