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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-08-04, 01:21 AM
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#1
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Kevin Brown
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[Just Blink]
IP: 6FA7 7304
Just Blink- Copyright '04 - Kevin Brown Hatred for… The prejudice system, which convicts the innocent When they’re the guilty scum, Jesus, I’m sick of it. A society that funds “the enemy”, and lies to your face And you just want to show them how reality tastes Show-off your beliefs of how they are supporting hypocrisy And we can’t say a word cause of iron-fisted democracy Exiled by a society that feeds off the bullshit they preach I hate the schools for the lies they teach Politicians are priests in this new future that’s near Politicians are GOD in this new future I fear I can’t stand to watch, it makes me sick just to think So if you’re with me, DON’T WATCH… Just Blink. The abstract gluttony of self-centred, bigots or racists That march in gowns cause their metaphorically faceless Swastika praising, neo-Nazi, skin-head freaks That only spread animosity in every word that they speak They rebel to be important, cause catastrophe and make a mess But they’ll never amount to anything, and will remain useless Castrate the males and tie the tubes of the girls So they can have sex without spreading their filth to the world They are the government, your senators, presidents or prime ministers They are the government, conniving, evil, and sinister I can’t stand to hear them; it makes me sick just to think So if you’re with me, DON’T WATCH… Just Blink. Fanatics that riot, but make exceptions and substitution Idiots that protest for censorship, against the constitution Freedom of Speech, but we’re gagged by morals and laws And you can’t hear decent music without a beep and a pause And let me advise you its not media where kids learn it It was mommy who he first saw light the cigarette and burn it Inhaling toxic second hand smoke, get cancer, I’ve predicted Cause just from watching mommy, little Johnny got addicted. Grade one their drinking vodka in their spiked fruit punch And grade three their trading drugs and not their lunch Stumble to show and tell, we just think they’re a klutz But how do you explain it when grade sixers are sluts Selling sex for cash so they can get a quick drink And if you hate it too, DON’T WATCH… Just Blink.
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-Word for Word-
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01-08-04, 12:56 PM
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#2
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Fuck You, I'm Iller
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IP: 843C 2CD1
This was incredibly dope Tik.
I really cant break it down technically as I''m obviously no Poetry head but it was a thought provoking well executed piece. Nice.
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<center> Did I Beat You Before? Yeah, Probably -An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better- |
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01-08-04, 07:29 PM
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#3
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...
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IP: A9A7 727D
this is really well executed....it shows emotion (the rage, the sadness), and its not personal at all! Most poetry people write is about their personal exeriances and shit that has happened to them, whereas this was about what's wrong with the world (usually an Open Mic standpoint) and it is still exceedingly dope.
The last stanza is what really got me. I know nine year olds that smoke weed, and chicks that lost their virginity before they were even in high school. It just hits really close to home. Great piece, tikkers.
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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01-08-04, 09:28 PM
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#4
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..Soft Focus..
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IP: 1B3B C284
Damn..I have never read anything from you but this was really good. a lot of power in your words and a great deal of thought. Some lines you could really put emphisizes on to feel more in the poem which was really interesting. the way you put your words together you kinda put the reader into the story...drew a picture...which is hard to do..so very well writtin piece. Nice read.
Oh and if you didn't know this was nominated for a legends...by trapt wit...Congradulations.
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Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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01-08-04, 10:18 PM
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#5
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one wink
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IP: AAF1 A3DB
Usually I'm not one for Political based Pieces...but, if it's good, I still find it amazing. The third verse just amazed me.
The idea of "Just Blink" moves me, as I already told you. It's just such a beautiful idea. A wish, a shoulder to cry on. Great work. |
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01-08-04, 10:39 PM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: 4577 CD9A
This was a very powerful piece. I enjoyed it. It had emotion and had awesome imagery. It was as if you were actually watching everything happen. I loved it. Keep it up.
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01-09-04, 12:11 AM
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#7
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Kevin Brown
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IP: 6FA7 7304
word. first poem in 6 months and it goes legends.
thank you all, much respect.
__________________
-Word for Word-
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01-10-04, 12:19 PM
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#8
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..A New Breed of Femcee..
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IP: 399E F0FD
Tikki..
Great piece, I really loved how the title tied in with the theme; really emotional and powerful, the repetition of the last line in each stanza..Great concept, well executed.. >Grade one their drinking vodka in their spiked fruit punch And grade three their trading drugs and not their lunch That line was my favorite although the whole thing was very well written..It's sad, but true..And to put it all into such a well written piece of poetry really makes it that much MORE moving.. Really well done..Of course, I'd expect nothing less from my male counter-part...  Keep writin'.. Pz Last edited by DaGyrlRemarqabL : 01-10-04 at 12:22 PM. |
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01-10-04, 02:00 PM
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#9
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Guest
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IP: 3FF7 60C9
Using what seems to be a quite profound concept of 'blink' to tie up such 'real' and 'blunt' issues of the world. But done so in a way which was not merely methodical, but poetically laced.
I got my own 'idea' of this blink thing. But not completely sure what you mean by it. Maybe you can explain? Or not, as i don't like explaining much in stuff i write either. ..resp... |
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01-10-04, 03:13 PM
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#10
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Kevin Brown
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IP: 6FA7 7304
^if i explain it you may have a different opinion and not value it the same as i would.
ill leave it a mystery. much respect for V and gege.
__________________
-Word for Word-
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01-10-04, 05:53 PM
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#11
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Over Weight
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IP: 399E F0FD
You spoke all the emotion really well, i'm not much of a poetic head, but i'm big on topical so I figured, i'd may get a good grip on understanding it...but I felt a lot comming out of you on this...nice drop..great drop..
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Soft Focus Suicide Inc. RhymeVantage Def.Ill Ghost-Writers Retarded people's heads are to big..I'll be back with something just as funny as watching the Special Olympics..don't worry..
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01-11-04, 12:47 PM
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#12
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Banned
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IP: DF7B C8F7
wow powerful stuff and there is much more i can say that all ready has been said, i just thought these were some great lines......
Politicians are priests in this new future that’s near Politicians are GOD in this new future I fear Castrate the males and tie the tubes of the girls So they can have sex without spreading their filth to the world Grade one their drinking vodka in their spiked fruit punch And grade three their trading drugs and not their lunch just a great piece |
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01-13-04, 08:12 PM
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#13
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Kevin Brown
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IP: 6FA7 7304
up for the last time.
__________________
-Word for Word-
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01-13-04, 08:58 PM
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#14
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Like Whoa...
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IP: 3273 E58A
What up Phrantik...haven't seen much of anybody in a looong while have I....
Anyways, this peice was really good. You touched on a lot of really important issues, and like Maven said, I think it came out so great becuase it wasn't personal, you took a good point of view on it, and it defenitley deserved to be a legend... Could you repsond to my peice perhaps.... But: Keep it up though....when is chapter two? |
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