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Old 01-13-04, 11:33 AM   #1
RythmicTendicies
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Arrow [Bangin']

IP: CEA5 B505

First Piece Of '04

When You Bangin' In The Club...
N' You Get Popped Cos You Wern't Fast Enough...
Then You Come Back, Tryna Act Tough...
With A Full Clip Loaded In Your Gun...
Single Shot And You First Instinct Is To Run...


[verse 1]
Multiple Shots Filled The Cool Night Air...
In Despair A Young G' Whispered A Prayer...
Was Unfair - He Had No Time In Which To Prepare...
Thats Thug Life - Gotta Be Aware n' Alert...
A Child Growing Up In Poverty n' Dirt...
BloodStained Shirt, Mother Has A Reason To Be Nervous...
A Child Being Called In Urban Military Service...
Just Above The Surface, With Drastic Results...
An Iceberg Subject To Discrimination From Adults...
Thug Life's Real, However Can Sometimes Be Surreal...
But It's A Life In Which You Have To Conceal...
Try To Think, But You'll Never Know, How This Young Thug Feels...

When You Bangin' In The Club...
N' You Get Popped Cos You Wern't Fast Enough...
Then You Come Back, Tryna Act Tough...
With A Full Clip Loaded In Your Gun...
Single Shot And You First Instinct Is To Run...


[Verse 2]
It's Funny Shit People Will Do For Money...
Thug On Saturday n' Then Saint On Sunday...
Dreams Are Murky Blacked Out By Society...
High Flying Excitement Turns To Anxiety..
Life Of Impropriety Breakdown Of Humanity...
Slowely Walking Into A World Of Mental Insanity...
A Thug "Shit Couldn't Touch Me", Unbreakable...
Until His Moms Hanging From An Electric Cable...
Out For Revenge Another Fable Is Told...
Behold As Things Unfold, Thugs Left Out In The Cold...
Gods Deserted Him, He's Sold His Soul...
Controlled By The Green, Opposite Of Serene...
A G' Out In the Street Only Aged Sixteen...
Between His Home Life n' Tryin' To Stay Clean...
Fuck It, Role Wit It, His Lifes Obscene...

When You Bangin' In The Club...
N' You Get Popped Cos You Wern't Fast Enough...
Then You Come Back, Tryna Act Tough...
With A Full Clip Loaded In Your Gun...
Single Shot And You First Instinct Is To Run...


--------------------
Experimenting wit different styles, topics etc....don't hate to much...lol
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Old 01-13-04, 11:43 AM   #2
west
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Yo Yo Yo,good use of vocab,multies and imagery was really good here,hook was good aswell and the last verse had real good flow although the hole peice flowed very well,good drop.

Peace
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Old 01-13-04, 11:44 AM   #3
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Nice
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Old 01-13-04, 11:44 AM   #4
Noiz es Heard
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True shit dude....ya style is coo. I love pieces bout life shit. keep em coming your vocab was nice. i was mos def feeling this... i think a lotta folks can relate to it....u painted a nice picture with metas. keep up the good work
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Old 01-13-04, 11:49 AM   #5
RythmicTendicies
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Cheers for the replies West n' Noiz es Heard....

Zedd...that was not a reply...
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Old 01-13-04, 03:47 PM   #6
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uppin' for feedback.
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Old 01-13-04, 03:54 PM   #7
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yeah i thought ya came at this well... the first verse had a better scheme was feeling it more... the second was a lil more basic.. but still good... i like this sorta topic,, and the hook linked it nicely, fitted well..... a good drop,,,...pZ...
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Old 01-14-04, 05:13 AM   #8
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uppin', don't sl££p....
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Old 01-14-04, 06:30 AM   #9
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feedback

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good piece, best part i think would be,
"It's Funny Shit People Will Do For Money...
Thug On Saturday n' Then Saint On Sunday...
Dreams Are Murky Blacked Out By Society...
High Flying Excitement Turns To Anxiety.."

I dont like the cap on every word thing.. but its aight hehe, i felt what u said, and u came strong, good job
BTW could u reply to my post: Drugs and America
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If ya get the chance Drop some Feedback on these drops:<br>
<a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=815041#post815041">I hate bitchs keystyle</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=85355">Aint no drug got a hold of me</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=88860">No Love</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=90057">Rules of the Game</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=92570">Dirty Hippie</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=92613">R.I.P Crossroads</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=92798">Learn about it</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=986562#post986562">Valet Parking [keystyle]</a>, <a href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=104102">Tribulations</a>.
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Last edited by Lulong : 01-14-04 at 08:23 AM.
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Old 01-14-04, 02:16 PM   #10
RythmicTendicies
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up'
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Old 01-14-04, 02:19 PM   #11
Trapt Wit
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This was pretty nice.
I wasnt a huge fan of the subject or anything.
But wasnt executed too bad.

Decent piece overall.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=106765
^^^
Peep that please.
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Old 01-14-04, 02:20 PM   #12
Trapt Wit
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Edit...
Accidentally posted twice
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Old 01-14-04, 09:06 PM   #13
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Dope...
Conent had me at a blah at first...
But you pulled it off well..switching it..
Dope vocab..loving dope..
multis and flow good...
just a good piece..dope..
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Old 01-14-04, 09:11 PM   #14
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Really nice peice, Thought the hook was gay

But you made the concept nice, vocab was there, along with flow

Keep it up

Follow my sig.... and no it's not about you
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Old 01-15-04, 06:24 AM   #15
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cheers...up'dy up.
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