I ~SUGGEST~ YOU PUT A ~VEST~ Cuz Like Canibus Ima ~RIP YO CHEST~ You Feelin Soft Like lil Girls ~BREAST~ AmStranglinYou And Kickin U Into The MID~WEST~ Like ~TRAINS~ Am Crashin YO ~VAINS~ And SPATTERIN YO ~BRAINS~ Spittin Faster Then 2 COLLIDIN ~PLANES~ While I Got Ya Up Da ~CHAINS~ My Rhymes ~REMAIN~ Mysterious And Are ~INSANE~ Like U.S.A Vs SADDAM ~HUSSIEN~ Can't ~MAINTAIN~ This Lyrical ~PAIN~ THis Is Just A Lil KeySttyle Thats Bout To Eat ~YOU~ I Got Ya LyriCally SHOCKED!!!Like ~PIKACHU~

Jus A 2nd Post IF u Think Its Good Well Expect More PAYCE~~~~~~~~~~

its aight but you need to sort out your flow
it would sound alot beta if you had the same syllables in each line
but that was overall aight
keep elevating

Aight I Feel YA

it was aight, but i think u can do better.

Yea IIght

Yeah this was alright.....but dont put it in paragraph form like that, put it line on top of line so its structured good and so it helps the flow out in your piece...also lose the ~ things around your rhyming words....but keep at it.

I'll give you 1..cause this was horrible...what's with the CAPS~~~