I was a young man, contemplating on quitting the game
Cos a detective without a case is like a skull without a brain
Then the money dried and drained… sacked was the secretary
Didn’t expect to, but had to inevitably… I felt ashamed
But it had to be, then it was back to me, to take the reins
A 1-man enterprise slowly drowning in the flood plains
Didn’t know how long I could stay afloat… anyways
……here’s where the investigation begins…

It was an average day and still the door only held my prints
But that morning I was convinced that I’d had a premonition
Then I had a knock on the door, like in a dream… spine chilling
It was the same woman with the same voice, like repetition
Like De-javu, couldn’t believe the coincidence so I kept listening
Every word she spoke evoked more suspicion, as I already knew
The Intrigue grew, in my head thinking… what the fuck should I do
Take the case or listen to my head instead, I took the first of the 2
So I accepted it and here it is the way I construed to pursue…

It was pretty open and shut, textbook, that shouldn’t take much
Couple of days, paid, just a ‘missing person’ with broken trust
She said sincerely, clearly easy money fool’s wouldn’t decline
Cos in the dream, I already solved and resolved the fucking crime
The actual time, where to find, and when she’d reside to rest
Where the clues are and how to play the situation best
To impress and stretch the investment of my costly services
They didn’t deserve it, but fuck it I was feeling quite merciless
It served my purpose, flawless with no risk of detection
I mean I saw this in a dream… it couldn’t make a confession
So I planned it perfectly a certainty plus they were born into brass
So I played for a million with seduction, then inherited their cash
At last it was mine, who said that honesty pays…
I was 1 million pound wealthier, from a dream about a case

Last night I was sleeping and dreaming about my scam
Thinking about how it could have happened to this lucky man
Then the alarm sounded, morning dawned and I recalled
That’s how the dream ended the last time, it was cut short
But then I dozed and resumed, what was it, so I thought
And re-walked the events once more… suddenly it pops into my head
Shit… after I took the money it wasn’t finished… instead
They slit my throat last night… fuck! I haven’t woke up im .........dead

I like what ya tryin to do, but I would have preferred less.

Overall it's cool, story tellin with a twist, but I think if you made it shorter it could have been stronger, lost me on a couple lines.

But like I said, bottom line is good work, I'll see you...

..Very nice..this was once again almost good as(kingmoneyblingbling?)..anyway..good imagery..and as ways good content..I think the reason why you're so different from the most is because of your content..always different and thoughtful..keep up the good work...read my new open mic~~~bling~bling???

Very nice piece. Its the most original piece i think i've read. and not only is it original but its a great concept as well. Your flow i thought was off a little in a couple lines, but you probly did it too a certain beat, and made it flow to that beat. I noticed some nice wordplay in there, and good use of metaphors.

Id give this a 9/10, Very decent drop. Keep at it.
Pz........

thnx man... i did do it to a beat... any more

come on it aint that long... ive read much longer....lol

This was pretty good, a nice aproach. flow was good...fell off sometimes...probably just the way i read it though. i kinda stopped then went again...anyways..the aspect of this was good i liked the opening line to the first verse it was a good metaphore. also your imagery was good people may not of realised it but the way you graphed things out in each line did it for me. Good Drop. an thanks for the honest feedback on my "The Weathers Art"

Keep It Up

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

yea dev i liked this one alot man really enjoyed it.....i think ya flow was good consisdering ya did it to a beat made it flow betta...ya structure was good and probably fitted the beat right....ya wordplay in this was nice man i liked it in this one...i think that ya Vocab was reall good too man and was really well done...keep em droping man....PeacE....

thnx... l dont like the way they are layed out now.... it makes them seem longer and harder to read.....

I liked the concept... story telling was on point, and it was lyrically decent.... flowed well, but i think you could have structured it a bit better, a few lines were kinda weird and off point and it was hard to read sometimes... nevertheless, it was still a good piece and an interesting read... 8/10

keep dropping unique open mics like this, theyre good to read

9 replies and half of them mine... what going on?????

This Was Quite A Different Read Than Some Of Your Previous Open Mics Dev. . Enjoyable Nonetheless. . Flow Was On-Point For The Most Part. . Some Lines It Fell Off, But I Can Overlook. . Vocab Was Good. . The Concept Was Really Dope. . Only Seen It Used A Couple Of Times So It's Definately Original To Me. . . Nice Twist At The End With You Being Dead After Getting The Loot. . Overall. . 'Twas A Dope Read Man. . Pz.

Check Out "I Jus Wanna Talk" When I Get It Up. . Good Look.

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