is you a thug from the street bust slugs when you beef
plant ya feet when ya throw hands or run to ya peeps
i got blood on my teeth aint a fukin thing sweet
try ta get at the god then you gone whos wrong
i make fukas fold worse than futons
or get ya food ate and i aint talkin bout croutons
i keeps it gully,breeze from the scene bloody
thats how it be buddy shit gets real ugly trust me
i dont flow about hoes clothes or dough
i rap about spittin holes through my foes fa show
ya know most klaim they keeps it gangsta
straight wankstas ill be the one ta spank ya
quik ta snatch ya plate 9trey banga danga danga
deranged worse than the boston strangla
i got alot of anger but take it out on my tool
pop ya in ya tooth ta peep you leakin fool thats the truth

your flow was on point...it was aight on the gangsta tip...
more of a audio...up your concepts, metas, multis and wordplay...
despite the flaws your showin potential with this peice...
keep flowin you can only get better...

Jesus.. This was if I may say.. Horrible..

You make "Fuckas fold like futons".. Wow. That isn't played..

You concept.. Is done everyday by almost everyone.. Nothing original here.. I mean there are only so many combinations of words that can explain how "gully" and "thugged-out" you are.. I've seen 99% of them.. Write on an interesting topic, providing that you can think of one. What are your views on politics/life/religion etc etc.. Presuming you have some, you should voice them via your open mics. It's a good way to get your message out there without getting off your ass..

Peep some of the "veteran" open mic members, I admit no-one (including myself) is very skilled and talented at writing open mics.. But you can get a general idea on the structure/scheme/content/vocab etc that you should be striving for.

For now work on correct spelling and structure.. It gets annoying reading "fukaz" and "str8" and other stupid net-slang like that day in day out.

Elevate. pz.

eripsni-