Rascal u wanna go personal and look at my profile/
well ur 16, seems like ur raps have been played out for a while/
opening is alright.. Personal shot is alright.. could have come off a little harder though
i mean next ta me, u mite be ranked the best/
on an assignment, u handed in a blank paper and failed the test/
set wasnt that good.. follow through is good
u talkin bout how i work on a farm, callin me a hill billy/
if u see me on the streets be alarmed, run and jump over things get free like willy/( Free Willy the movie )
eh.. metaphor is alright i guess.. but the overall punch isnt that much i thought
i'll have ur ass shooked, actin ignorant, like i didnt say that??/
dont turn around n look, gat ta head bout ta make ya brains splat/
eh..more filler type ish, doesnt really hit hard and the metaphor could be worked on with direction
talkin bout me workin on the farm ur whole rap, was jjst redundant/
see me in the streets, its a wrap, my punches will be at ur head in the hundreds/
eh.. weak punchs really. follow through was to streched i thought.
cause dogg i ride or die alone, only protecting myself/
this pussy hides and cries, at home fearing for his health/
weak.. no real direction adn lacks strength as a punch
im like OO7 cause no one can see me/( i mean like no one cansee me in the rap game)
stealth game like heaven u just gotta belive me/(because no one can see heaven u just gotta belive that it is there)
to much explaing dog.. if you need to then fix the bar na mean? its not your job to say HEY read it THIS WAY... if you need to then its not coming across good enough
We Gonna Battle Like 2 DogS Over A Bitch.. Wanna Go 'Another-Round'/
My 'Sound' Have U ''BurieD'' wit a 'Crown' Make U King Of the ''UnderGrounD''//
alright bar.. metaphor is alright isuppose.. Punch could have been more though
'Bitch You Aint scarry' U Gettin Murked Coz U Aint Got No 'Rhymes WorTh Facin'/
U Could Put 2 Words Together From a 'DictionerY' And I Cud'Ve Smoked a joinT in This 'Time Im WaiStiN'//
had an alright concept, but didnt really go for it in the end. lacked the punch
Ya Rhyme Is 'new' U Got Year To waiT So 'WaiT a Few'/
If I took My SkillS baQ To 1985 Id Still Never Be The 'Same As You'//
alright shot. metaphor is alright punch is ok i guess
If U Think that Rhyme Gonna Cut It Here Then Ya 'Brain Is LooSe'/
iM 'InSane' aint Fuckin Wit No ''NewBie'' a Punk BitCh..DucKin Wen He Sees 'PuSSy'//
follow through was filler ish type. could have directed it more
ur 'SweLLin Up coz im 'Abusin Ya BowelS' and 'UsinG Ya VowelS' /
U Get More Beef Than an 'AbuSiVe CoW'//
heh.. follow through wasnt bad but needed more in it over all yea mean
Spray Macs To HiT Ya More than 'Hair On Ya HeaD'/
We 'ScareD em To DeaTh' StraiGht ''Teare Em To ShreadS'//
follow through isnt anythign really.. Set could have been better if the connect was better set
Fuck It I Dont Even Gotta maTch You ''Amout Of LineS'
U aint Got No FUCKIN Skills Holla Wen U ''AMount To MineS'
alright shot, but more self boasted.. ending could have been better/

Over all your verse had some ok punchs i guess, and well enough metaphors. But you needed more in your verse with direction adn you need to fix your flow so it smooths out better when other people are spitting it


u wanna go personal and diss my profile,
idont usualy do this it aint my style./
openign is weak i though.. lacked punch, but opens with an alright structure
imean you diss me,your crews cripz,
what a wack name im gona give you some tips,
your verse was patchy you had lots of trips./
straight punch i suppose.. not very hard though
aii1ght this bitch is called BoNe'zCoLlEcTeRr,
unlucky for him im the rap inspector,
you said your good thats off the scale on my Lie Detector./*1
skicks from subject to subject with no real set or follow through.. at least nothign that comes off hard in my eyes.
irate your verse as 2/10, its as good as that,
you drop like that again ill make your brains go splat,
the wound will be so Big you cant cover it with no hat,
are'nt you glad i showed up and spat,
im gona nibble at you like you were cheese and iwas a rat./
no... LoL im sorry the concept is alright but you lack punchs in this.. this is a battle, you need hits to at least help your verse along, yea mean?
You try to diss me again ill pull my trigger,
wtf it only took 1bullet to kill this wigga./
FILLER
Im bored with you bitch so ima put u to rest,
you said in your verse ifailed a test,
if this was your test ipassed it with ease,confirmation im the best./
self boasting, and FILLER type ish.. lacks alot, punch metaphor etc....
who do you think you are dissin before i spit,
ill garante all my punches hit,
this wack ass piece of shit./
eh ending had a small punch inthere i suppose.. although you could have came off better

You started alright.. But then towards the end it just kind of fell of fyou know what i mean? you didnt really strike up many good metaphors and you seemed a little more directed to your opponent than he did but that didnt help you much in the End.


Vote- BonezCollecterr
He came with more punchs, harder punchs and better metpahors over all.. ALthoguh looking at his style switch, and the structure BEING the same. it looks like half keyed half pre writ.. maybe im wrong i dunno

OH AND IT IS VERY SIMPLE TO WRITE A VERSE THAT LONG IN TEN MINUTES.
lOl ITS NOT LIEK HE DROPED ANYTHING EXTREAMLY DOPE... IT WAS A GENERIC BASIC VERSE WITH NOTHING HARD REALLY....[/b]

oNe

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