My rap book is a holy grale,if you touch,it'll burn ya fingaz//
tossed a nigga in da lake a year ago and da smell still lingers//
but i think that the cops are suspecting it's me, so dis is da reason why i spit//
i rip niggaz out da game like justin ripping out janets tit//
when i shoot a nigga, da blast is hot//
I countdown to my killz like an astronaut //
i'm like bart simpson,dese niggaz can bite me//
and don't take me lightly,because when i come around i speak politely//
i'm not actin nicely//

if this was just a flow...then it was

but it lacked in a few areas
the flow was very not consistent... i just have a persona pet peeve with spelling.. but thats me

the imagry, vocab, rhyme scheme and just about everything else lacked

theres wasnt a consistent idea with this whole piece

first bit of advice, make your lines about the same lenght

peep this
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...089#post1163089