you think your cool but your really a fool, i smell you goin to school then i lick your drool, i anal rape you when you don know and then i shoot some snow, so why don you go you little fuckin hoe out into the whoa i just saw a meteor and im gettin speedier as i run from the sun to eat a honey bun, i fell to the ground and started to pound the girl i found the meteor hits after she starts to spits so watch out cause im comin for hits on all the little girls clits.

I jus spat that it might not make sense

lol. an ok peice i guess. considering it was freestyle. it had a choppy
flow but at least the rhymes were there the vocab and word choice was
decent. ur rite it didn't make sense but it makes for an ok read. just add
in sum structure and maybe it can be considered a masterpiece. keep at it.
elevate

hit this up plz:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112457

pz

__________________
<center>"There Will Always Be Someone Better Than You...<center></center>...As Long As I Exist"</center>

there was no plot here, there was no vocab, the rhymes were elementary and completely unconnected with each other. i hope for your sake youre just beginning as a writer coz if you aint, you should quit right now. pick a topic for your piece and then focus on painting a picture for the reader to follow.

elavate.