Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
02-11-04, 08:19 PM | #1 | |||||||
New to RB
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H.e.l.l.
IP: 202C A952
I Wanted to drop somthin Ill... Took me a lil over an hour to write this...
It Was My 17th birthday (feb-10th)... Some shyt needed to be spoken.. And it was time to show... My real Level Ayo... Surrounded by the fire, Brimstone and the sulfuric vapors Hell's fury unleashed in deadly beauty of the demonic savior I was a blessed individual, bore witness the Unholy rituals ..of tortured souls in eternal burning intervals Upon the face of adversity I saw the facade of a prince By no means was he the god that he thinks, regardless of sins When He shuned the warmth of humanity, He locked His heart in tragedy... and from the dawn of man He's been guarded up since I witnessed the expressions of apparitions twisted and contorted in pain With Satan in complete content laughing, feeling fully absorbed in His fame Spirits fleeing in fear not knowing they were horded for game The tallest man-made monument could easily be dwarfed in His rage The screams of people’s suffering pierces my auditory canals The stench resonating greatly strips my nasals from the rotten quaries of man And there lost in the stories He’s planned is Satan’s substantial throne of ashes And on His being are opened boils, scars, and some swollen gashes But in all of His evil splender, He hails to His foes, And at that moment you see the true Lucifer which He fails to disclose He’s on the brink of noticing my presence in cloaked form I am gripped with unbridled fear as my body denotes form I see the plateau of Stigia and the furnace of Hell’s levels And I see the alchemist harvesting seeds of evil used in the work which "sells" devils I see gluttonous peons painfully padding their unending stomaches I see the ravenous murderers being savagely tortured by starving buzzards I see the fornicators and molesters being raped by the very demons they worked for And the semen emitted forcefully conceals legions of worse whores I see souls who, while on earth, had nothing but the greed and the envy Get nothing to show for wages made, they pray now for Jesus to send peace Suicide victims are not victims at all, They are now forced to go thru with it for eternity but always living thru all I see sexual addicts getting fucked with every breathe that they take Never resting from rape, they stress that they can’t take the sex that they craved I see multitudes of landfills of bodies being cleaned by one dignitary This is the burden of cleanliness that this person now tends to carry I see people who were killed violently by dangerous devotion Murked by impulses, bursting full of raw emotion These are the people with low hemoglobin, The blood is revolting but have all of their scars exposed in the open Satan is much more than a king, He rules at the seams But at the very moment, I awoke from my dream........ And They Tell Me I Ain't Real... Caesar - On3...(Top Ten)
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~Sitting In Elevation Position~ Free Agent Just A Sick Newbie Murked - Lust Lost - None |
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02-11-04, 08:35 PM | #2 | ||||
Banned: Spamming
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IP: C1DA C961
Hmm~~~nice vocab...and good wordplay...lot of potenial....this would've been better read if it was shorter...it's good as it is now..but if you worked on it and made it shorter..this would be really dope....peace...Sig~~Click~Click...III...
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02-11-04, 10:09 PM | #3 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 1D04 65C4
fuck what he said this was unbeleivable, ending was a little weak (awaking from a dream) been done, lol. But other than that, it was beautiful. Descriptive, great multis, this was very good. Alot of people in here underestimate the importance of rhyming, you don't. You were descriptive, refreshing and you still didn't compromise the rhyme, that's genius to me. This was a beautiful....I really enjoyed it. Chech fgee's 'the devils rant" it's similar and extremely dope. Good work.
"Spirits fleeing in fear not knowing they were horded for game, The tallest man made monument could easily be dwarfed in his rage." DDOOPPEE. |
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02-11-04, 10:15 PM | #4 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 1D04 65C4
oh yeah and peep my verse if you get the chance
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02-12-04, 07:49 AM | #5 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 202C A952
fa sho... thankx for the love...
UPPIN
__________________
~Sitting In Elevation Position~ Free Agent Just A Sick Newbie Murked - Lust Lost - None |
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02-12-04, 03:51 PM | #6 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 1BF7 CF19
I agree this was a nice piece here man....I enjoyed the read.....structure was alright in this, some of the lines were kinda long but it was alright.....the flow to this was good i thought, it stayed on pretty well.....had real nice vocab....had some nice multies in there....overall a nice piece...keep at it.
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02-12-04, 05:15 PM | #7 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 202C A952
Thanx dunny...
yall do realize this is the last time i kill like this until February 10th 2005 right? come show some love... i only do this once a year... unless... i get pissed at some cat that claim he better then me... THIS NEEDS TO BE TOP 10... YEP ... UPPIN Caesar - On3
__________________
~Sitting In Elevation Position~ Free Agent Just A Sick Newbie Murked - Lust Lost - None |
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02-12-04, 05:47 PM | #8 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: C1DA C961
Nice piece. You chose words that hit hard. Is this drawing on Dante's Inferno? It seemed quite similar. I noticed one line that could use a little work but since I didn't notice more than the one I'll just ignore it. As mentioned given the level at which your piece was hitting the ending kinda let me down, but nice piece overall. Hit my "Broken Metamorphosis" if you can.
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02-13-04, 12:16 AM | #9 | ||||||||
New to RB
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IP: E81F D400
nice shit good wordplay really showed ya true level on this shit can't wait to view a couple a moer from you
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02-13-04, 04:44 PM | #10 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 202C A952
thank u... thank u... more is to come... until then... UPPIN
__________________
~Sitting In Elevation Position~ Free Agent Just A Sick Newbie Murked - Lust Lost - None |
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