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Old 02-11-04, 01:37 PM   #1
Se7eN
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My Word

IP: 4577 CD9A

My word is my bond,
Like a fire juss lit
Burning eternal words,
That are bounce off my lips

Nobody knows me enough,
To tell me who I am
In this game of real life,
I never give a damn

Keep my head focused,
On the prize ahead of me
I try to spit honestly,
But you people never see

The size of the problem,
Is larger than ever before
My word is my word,
I'll take a step and open the door
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Old 02-15-04, 09:03 PM   #2
Absolute Power
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interestin bit...short, but had its highlights...

some rhyme but u didnt harp on it....

emotion showed through

stuck to topic...

all in all a good piece
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Old 02-16-04, 09:33 AM   #3
Se7eN
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thanx
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Old 02-16-04, 05:19 PM   #4
Se7eN
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uppin for my piece here, please give me feedback
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Old 02-16-04, 05:26 PM   #5
L.A.STR~E~TZ
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I didnt like the piece, it seemed like just ramblin. It sounded like it was meant to mean sumtin but i have no idea wat. I do get some lines, about the "words are bonds", those i completely understand. The lines were you talk about other things, thats where i get lost. You need some work on this poem, it seems to have a deep message(not sure wat it is) but i think it does, make it longer. The vocab was very simple, used. Strange format, sumtimes almost rhyming, sometimes not rhyming at all. structure is good. I felt no emotion at all, just like talkin. well thats just my opinion, keep workin man. g luck'
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