nobody knows me, even my mother who named me//
i feel like the invisible man walking outside when its raining//
a changling, that looks like water colors washed off on a painting///
im still debating, if my species is even acknowledged by man///
i look in the mirror, and i dont even know who i am///
all i see is a blur, like someone switched up my medicine//
like a vampire, i look, but i cant even see my reflection///
when i interact with people all i get is rejection//
then they expect me to show my affection, show my emotions//
my devotion to rap will stay till im ghostin//
now im floatin, like 2 illegal aliens who got stuck in the ocean///
people say they gonna fuckin kill me, i just think that their jokin///
but if i go, im hopin i die in slow motion, it was a hell of a ride///
my lifes at its prime, then all of a sudden i died///
now i stand right by jesus's side///
now im fine, even though society didnt like me//
now im gettin laid, gettin paid and rockin crowds nightly//
it might be, cause im sick right offa the dome///
treat me bad? then im gonna follow you home///
stick a gun in your face, then tell you to swollow the "chrome"///
ill bury your bones, for not being human when approached by sombody different
i cant change my pigment, but i can get your girls digits//
who am i???? well, i guess its none of my business........

KEYSTYLE............................feedback plz

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GangGreen

"It aint all about economy///So the fact that all these wack MC's is makin G's dont bother me///Honestly, my number one policy is quality"

thanks for the feedback.......ASSHOLES

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GangGreen

"It aint all about economy///So the fact that all these wack MC's is makin G's dont bother me///Honestly, my number one policy is quality"

i acctualy really liked this man. good flow nice contence with some nice creativity..... Things to improve more add a bit more complexity .... but props man good spit!

my thoughts exactly.......

nah j/k


but thanks for my ONLY feedback

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GangGreen

"It aint all about economy///So the fact that all these wack MC's is makin G's dont bother me///Honestly, my number one policy is quality"

Yo dat was tight creativity was off the chain and good vocab.
But one thing that i personally think you can change is the fact that you
switched topicks so fast you go from being depressed to gettin laid and rockin
crowds, if i were rockin crowds the last thing i would be is depressed.
so my advise is try to be another person a person who has never read that verse before.

aight i hit yours up now you hit mine up with honesty its "To whome it may concern"

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I Beat Up Asshole Fathers For Free

My Space

Quote:

Originally Posted by Indeph Lyricalsolja you illy on the sickness tip.

''nobody knows me, even my mother who named me//
i feel like the invisible man walking outside when its raining//
a changling, that looks like water colors washed off on a painting///''

I liked that imagery, but id say the peice lacked anything that braught me into it - like adding a name into one of the lines say of a famous person or something like that, i think those were your best lines, .....definatly liked them. I also never find any lyrics any good unless they make me laugh or have great metaphours. But thats just me so...

same with me



lyical soldja, i was geting laid and rockin crowds cause i was dead and n heaven



thanks 4 the feed

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GangGreen

"It aint all about economy///So the fact that all these wack MC's is makin G's dont bother me///Honestly, my number one policy is quality"

we battle all the time so I don't wanna give you no compliments, but fuck this rhyme was illmatic you really know how to make shit that should'nt rhyme...rhyme..you gotta come back to the cypher and get your ass beat though stop being a pussy...this rhyme was thorough

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Biggie was always better than Pac, ready to die vs tupacolypse now which was better

wow, thats nice

i think thats the most positive feedback ive ever got

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GangGreen

"It aint all about economy///So the fact that all these wack MC's is makin G's dont bother me///Honestly, my number one policy is quality"

I agree this was good here.....made a nice read i think....i liked the opening to this, it was nice....the flow to this was good as well, it flowed pretty well....vocab was good in it....overall a nice piece....keep at it.

good lookin out cred


uppn

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GangGreen

"It aint all about economy///So the fact that all these wack MC's is makin G's dont bother me///Honestly, my number one policy is quality"