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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-17-04, 06:16 PM
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#1
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Guest
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Career: Microsoft Painter
IP: 65E8 9804
We're all born ordinary, although miss verity called commentary Yea it's a God complex, when he found Moses caught courting Mary Short stories ended, but just as they did life sentences started tentative laughing replacing points of view, tension is pardoned We evolve in non norm shadows, working in search of false profits translated body language when being made to make forced comments Here in shoes that are too big and my inner child is a man stuck my mirror image is that of one that'll bring me 7 years of bad luck Put my hands up, as I give up, that's the only giving I'll give it's just the way that life's testing me for this D, missing a kin Piston of sin, spinning, condition- 3rd eye vision crimson tinted beaten within an inch of life, but life and death is within inches Coherent to this whole purpose appearance of above-board existence but why live for the moment, if every moment is done in fear of? I'd rather peel off from routine dawn breakers and sunrise wakers so I can harbor a voice of my own and become my very own hater I'd be mad at myself for being a product of such a foreign path from A to B like the blueprint was a dot-to-dot, the common graft Anyone would take-over from a price tag, how do you value yourself? all that glitters is not Gold, its not how you tower your wealth! Because the power was dealt, I have bad hands, no grip on reality I drop knowledge, I can't hold my sanity it's shown systematically So as I sit and bleed my heart my two cents are worth chicken feed people catch their Z's from me, no-one cares, it's a given, see?! People think they see how the pigeons see, prospect high and mighty What a load of non-sense, it'll go up in the incense of fire lighting Empire tyrants pilot this plain sailing, they're trained Damiens was it even a contest playing preying to these war game assailants?! I'm poor and staying it, wasting this [space] and state of living showing this obsolete feat that paced my prison, grace decisions Only to haste positions I'm in, it's a case of chasing the wind as the anxiety begins, my high spirits are in that case for the gin Face is the twin of a distoreted image that landed on Picasso's canvas And I guess that's it..standard! As a matter of fact! Last edited by N-Demik : 01-17-04 at 06:19 PM. |
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01-18-04, 12:55 PM
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#2
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peace
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IP: 9ED0 718F
''Give and you shall Receive'' - Joseph lol. .
I liked this piece even tho` Joseph tisn't God. . but yeeah. . Great vocab per usual and everytime you use biblical reference it always seems to be relevant. . which is a good thing. . My part is: Quote:
People shouldn't be sleeping on this. . Word to this line: Quote:
All in all, a very nice piece. . keep it up dude. . and write about something more happier. |
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01-18-04, 01:44 PM
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#3
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: 399E F0FD
..Never read anything but amazing from you..and it probaly won't change anytime soon...
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01-18-04, 11:25 PM
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#4
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Guest
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IP: 65E8 9804
Thank you for the replies you two.
Don't make me start that God convo again lol.. Anyway..appreciate it.  |
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01-18-04, 11:37 PM
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#5
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Eddy.
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IP: 77D5 6AAD
Wow, u use a dope level of vocab , .. :O Good story painted here, w/ a solid flow.. nice, a little poetic thingy do it, real enjoyable to read..
Can u hit up my Day and night..preciate that = ) .
__________________
Fuck you |
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02-09-04, 12:19 PM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: 65E8 9804
Quote:
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02-09-04, 01:08 PM
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#7
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Guest
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IP: 24A3 0EF0
dope
you and maven are the only peoples verse ive read today which are quality.. kind of sad really anyway plenty of quotables..none of which i'll be quoting nah errmm.. 'We evolve in non norm shadows, working in search of false profits translated body language when being made to make forced comments Here in shoes that are too big and my inner child is a man stuck my mirror image is that of one that'll bring me 7 years of bad luck ^ill I'd rather peel off from routine dawn breakers and sunrise wakers so I can harbor a voice of my own and become my very own hater yup^ when i started reading it i thought heres one of them verses trying to incorporate as much vocab as possible while making no sense stylee things but i was pleasantly surprised really got into this and understood what you were talking about..i think props check mine..i'd like some feedback if possible |
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02-13-04, 10:58 PM
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#8
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Guest
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IP: 65E8 9804
Thankies for the feedback man =)
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02-13-04, 11:29 PM
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#9
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_-Lucky Rabbits Foot-_
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IP: CF61 4449
ok I got a few things to say....
one thing is very very dope imagery! and second... very ill multis! whole piece was on tact and topic... keep droppin and hit up my 2part story... ....Dead..To..Live.... and ....Dead..To..Live....(II) both are done and in OM
__________________
_-Current Battles-_
SyaNidal \v/ Diverse _-Open Mics-_
....Tragic..Death..I.... ....Tragic..Death..II....  _-::.CorruptedVisionz.::-_
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02-15-04, 11:32 AM
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#10
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Guest
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IP: 65E8 9804
Thanks for reading
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02-15-04, 01:34 PM
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#11
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Eddy.
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IP: 77D5 6AAD
Wish i could say the same o.O =(
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02-15-04, 01:46 PM
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#12
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Light Weight
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IP: 6D0E 69D5
Mostly a tight piece with a plethora of vocabulary touches... but i think it was a bit rushed... felt like the meaning got twisted by attempts to add multis... the structure was tight but didn't vary much so there is an area to consider uppin...
good work overall... {Peace} |
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02-15-04, 02:22 PM
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#13
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Guest
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IP: 65E8 9804
I will I admit that I probably did rush it..I dunno..I just kinda do that nowadays *Shrugs*
But I don't think my multis threw the piece off-topic..all in all it was a piece about me being a nobody. Thanks for the reply though |
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