I put alot of thought into this, i dont mean in the lyrics, i mean in the structure....here it is...

I believe that skill is more than somethin' you perceive, it depends on how its conceived//
But I know that emcee's sometimes become naive on what they write, what they've achieved//
We lay it down, we spit it, as the sayin' goes "we're our own worst critic"//
We know we just writ it, spat a couple lyrics, re-read the shit we done and then become so cynic//
We deserve props like locks, we go against the clock, drop hot shit like a sweatbox//
Cut~it like rocks, we 'Magic' like beanstalks, trapped in our own mind like a cell~block//
Its so frustratin' havin' ideas gyratin' like our motherfuckin' minds masterbating//
We jus' patiently waitin', for a chance, we ragin'//
Ourselves, we ratin', with our eyes dilating, envisioning pictures like a still~life painting//
Set straight~out, tushe, like swordsmen, thinkin' foriegn like nordsmen//while chords bend//
Paper thinkin' we set~out to kill them, but we straight killin' ourselves, blocked, stabbin' our pen//
All we do is disect our thought like a surgeon, do nothin' but cursin'//
Tryin' to erase our wasted thoughts with some fluid~detergent, until our rhymes become a burden//
Everyone expects so~much...like we supposed to have the upper~hand, but we got the under~hand//
Im still feelin' like im not meant, my birth was unplanned, shit, you aint me, i never expected you to understand....//

*Chorus*-singing like Eminem on 'Bully'//

Everyone thinks that im.....Saint-lee//
That im gonna blow and become...Wealth-ee//
But the truth is that im just not...Read-ee//
Cos im never given the chance to be...Me//

{2 Bar Break}

At first people thought that I was only a...Honk-ee//
That i would never amount to shit, nevermind an...Emcee//
But i did, and with success there comes friends and...Enemy-ees//
What the fuck you say, im my own critic, what you want from...Me?//

I condemn my friends at night, amen, this is deep, comin' from were my poetry stems//
I pick up the mic, spit nothin' but flem, ahem, all these people you down with, but you never knew 'em//
Your jus' another review, but your abouta break~through, ima teach people sumthin' bout you//
i got envy outside formin' a queue, people at home with pictures of me enciting violence like an african voodoo//
I remember kickin' it with friends over a six~pack, I miss that,//
I never covered my back~they were my boys, i never expected an attack//
But it seems that we all get rebellious and hit~out when we jelous//
"You know i'll allways stay true..." thats what they tell~us, but soon as the oppertunity arises they'll up and sell~us//
But now i got my own plan, im my own man//
Dont need no bag~man, cos i'll end up playin' hangman//
People lookin' in my direction, to see my complexion//
Expectin' a reaction, expectin' me too make an impression//
I had to much of this, there aint no me an' my outlaws...//
You aint ever gonna see me blow and sock~jaws, because.......//

*Chorus*

Its about people allways expecting something from you, like when you dont feel like spittin...and why there might not be a future for me as an MC cos the shit that im supposed to be...I might change it in places...but thats it...what you think?

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Knowledge Is King

Oh come on....All the people here and not one has even read my track...come on, i need feedback...plz.

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Knowledge Is King

For fuck sake....can someone plz give me some feedback plz? i been waitin for like 2 hours...

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Knowledge Is King

I can really tell that alot of thought went into this piece....i liked few lines here and there...but a certain areas need to be refined a little bit...places where the flow gets al little choppy and hard to follow....like when yu say "We jus' patiently waitin', for a chance, we ragin'//
Ourselves, we ratin', with our eyes dilating, envisioning pictures like a still~life painting//"....and "I condemn my friends at night, amen, this is deep, comin' from were my poetry stems//
I pick up the mic, spit nothin' but flem, ahem, all these people you down with, but you never knew 'em//"....im not gonna rewrite your sh*t..(nor do you want me to)...but if this is a first draft...try to think about staying consistent..and staying on topic when you rewrite this yourself...

Also work on your metaphors and similes....when it comes to this, I dont believe that they have to be incredibly deep to be effective, but something like "We magic like beanstalks" is not hitting hard....its like do it right or dont do it at all you know????......any way...keep it up....im out (AND RETURN THE FAVOR BY HITTIN UP MY OPEN MIC ON MY SIGNATURE)

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+ORION+

* BATTLES *

alright - as you acknowledged you put more effort into the rhymes than into the lyrics. Which made it somewhat odd because some of the ideas didn't seem to be connected. flow was pretty good - I think the oddness of the rhymes kinda reinforced your topic though so I'll say overall - 6.75 Keep writing. Hit something in my sig, preferably Broken Metamorphosis if you haven't already.

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Personal Testament 3 (100 Bars)
Befuddlement
Broken Metamorphosis
Cud