It probably doesn't sound great in writing, but I tried it out with a mellow beat at the back and it sounds good. If I can I might post it in the audio section.

see jimmy one day he be walkin down the block
he got he eyes on his rock, and hands on his glock
all of a sudden pops poc with his mind gone mad
he hits jimmy's block and takes jimmy down bad
what there to do? call nine-one-one!
jimmy been taken down; he be shot with a gun
he had nowhere to go and no places to run
now momma been alerted she be crying hysterical
she been informed that the bullets hit were 10 plus numerical
now better pray for a mircale 'cos jimmy gone into shock
his heart's pace going tick tock, tick... tock
trying to resusitate but it aint to avail
poc no longer free now he be locked up in jail
jimmy in a box be attending his own burial
momma sit solemnly she still be hysterical
it's a day in the life, but this is life in a day
in the morning he breathing, in the night he passed away

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six-three # you put lyrics to beats people demand the instrumental #

"... WUT! ... WUT! ... A-YEY-YAH!" a day in the life of li'l jon

dis was nice..vocab was good and structure was there keeep it up

you ur right it would sound beta in adiuo...sorry for postin twice