OK BAR BY BAR BREAKDOWN!!!!

i came this site hoppin 2 battle sum1 dope,
instead i got put up against this chump nope,
An ok opener, not impressive, jus two lines that rhyme....needed a harder punch
will u win this battle??"umm nope"..... dont if u play da roper dope,
rember wen Ali fell? like u u aint gota hope or a chance in hell,
Ehh starting to go downward.....
coz ur rhymes r far from unique,
keep lookin if its respect that u seek,
An ok punch, need to do better
coz ur punchlines are sloppy n ur wordz are weak, u wont last a week,
now im on the scene, im rippin u up n eatin ur splean,
Hmm ur attepmting multis which is a start but u need work...
u fake all ur punches have been seen b4,
but u never sore this cummin i hit straight at ur core, u hit the floor,
Stretched line...
wen im finish wit u u be finished 4 shore, battle expert no more...whore
more of a slapper coz da 1 fing u aint is a fuckin rapper,
Didnt even rhyme...
u skillless on the mic,
wit fans screamin " i heard of u nope... u dope!!" syk
Bad punch and another streched line...
bitch ur a joke the kings jester,
ur rhymes r so old they begginin 2 fester,
Bad punch again...
over time growin mold like cheese..red lester, u a pester
sum1 exsterminate......
u so ugly closes thing 2 pussy u get is wen u masterbate,
Another bad punch, and ur trying to use multi's...
so consentrate on wat i say,
i dont want beef but i've sgot 2 slaughter this gay...
Streched line again...
this fagot got no chance of a daughter 1 day nore a wife.....
u so unnesesery ima ignore ur life.. n cut ur throat wit my lyrical knife,
Bad punch...need to work on ya game bro...
so say good nite 2 this fight end of the war as u faded,
a lethal dose on "nope" is cured wit a blade
Finally, your verse is done...

Okay...well you cant just stick multis in there unles they make sense...werk on that....werk on usin better personals...work on direct punches....work on everything....dont stretch ya lines....elevate bro
Verse Score
37/100

Next time you battle, before you post, go back and re-read what you just keyed..
you aint a New Breed , your a wack emcee, part of a dying breed..
Okay opener...could be better
walkin round before each battle sayin let me be like Fifty, i know im dope man my mom says my rhymes are Nifty!...
Lol nice little punch in there...
you could bite fiftys style all youd like, but when it comes down to it you aint got what it takes to roc the mic right......
Ok punch...not to great...but not horrible..
i hear you now"oh no someone challenged me to a battle wheres My rhymebook", "shit Dude i already used all my prewrittens", u shook...
Nice punch right there...getting heated...
iight ill give you some props atleast you did show, but im lookin at ya verse , it reminds me of a pond Wit No Flow.....
Another decent punch...could use some work...
igiht now that im done and this battle is finished, time for these people to see how i leave wack emcees Diminished!
Pretty good closer...

Ok...this battle showed that you were more elevated than New breed...work on using some personals....nice flow...u didnt stretch ya lines so that was a good thing....work on your punches...try to get sum multis...other than that u got potential bro....keep up the good work....

Verse Score
63/100

Vote - Nope

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http://community.rapbattles.com/showthread.php?t=118770

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