i'm seein in ~double vision/
now u in ~trouble i'm performin your circumsision/
i'm ~rippin and it dont matter/
~strippin your insides and taken your blatter/
i see your ~weak and wanna start to repent/
i'm gonna ~sneek in tha woods and murder u while your in tha tent/
i fuckin ~spit multiple rhymes/
ive thrown bodies in a ~ditch multiple times/
tha ~key to beatin me is in my heart/
but ~see you will get it it's in a place deep and dark/
and ~it will not show/
people have ~bit my flow/
cause ima bodie droppa/
fuckin pussy poppa/
bullet stoppa/
i aint here to impress/
i'm here to lift up your dress/
put 10 in your fuckin chest/
and it dont matter if u wearin a vest/
V.I.P. never claimed to be tha best/
but i do lay punk pussies to rest/
who's a fuckin murder take a guess/

good flow
work on ur structure n vocab a lil

__________________

aight thankz uppin

that was tight

thankz man uppin

I Like how you used wordplay and used your words to ur full advantage. Id say the structure is a little iffy and if you focus on a general topic from now on then you'll be in the clear. While I didnt like this a whole lot i think you have potential and dont let anything hold u back. Keep it up.